When Losing Is Winning
by sacha-lee
Summary: When Losing Is Winning, Perfection Becomes Obsession & Thin Enough Can Never Be Achieved.POST NM Bellas eating habits spiral out of control, can anyone show her the road to recovery? CONTAINS EATING DISORDERS ANOREXIA AND BULIMIA EXB normal pairings.
1. Chapter 1

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT :)**

**A/N – I've never experienced an Eating Disorder before, so I'm sorry if I get anything wrong, although my friend who _has_ had one is helping me write this so I should be fairly right with the story.**

**Also, sorry if I offend anyone.**

**Bella's Point Of View**

Monday morning. Sigh. Another week of me dragging my useless self around Forks. If I could have my own way, I know exactly what I'd do. It'd be much more entertaining than having to make up lies about whether I was hungry or not. Of course I was hungry, I welcomed it, hunger is my friend.  
Edward kissed my forehead before climbing out my window to go and get his car and wait for me. I dragged myself to the bathroom with a new set of fresh clothes and locked the door. I washed my face and brushed my teeth and ran my hairbrush through my hair taking all the knots out.

I stripped myself of my clothes and stepped onto the scales.

Eighty seven pounds. I punched myself in the stomach, causing a bruise to form almost instantly. I'd only lost two lbs since Saturday night. I'd have to go for a jog later when I got home. I wasn't loosing weight fast enough the way I should be.

Tears streamed down my face, making my eyes turn red and swollen. I splashed water on my face and made my way downstairs. I grabbed my coat and put it on over the two jumpers I was already wearing, I'd been freezing the past month. I slung my book bag over my shoulder and headed to the fridge. I didn't need to eat, and I didn't want to eat. I opened the fridge door for a good five seconds and took out an egg and hid it under the sink, thankfully, Charlie never needs to go in there, so I could hide my food under there till the time Charlie was asleep and Edward would come back into my bedroom, giving me a good quarter of an hour to hide whatever food I'd pretended to eat under my floor boards.

I brought out a pan and put it on the stove and turned it on, then ran to the sink, cracked the egg and watched it go down the drain, which was slightly relieving and threw the egg shells in the bin. I watched the stove for three minutes before pretending to put it on a plate, then scraped my knife and fork along the plate. I stuck the clean plate in the wash and washed it again and stuck it on the drying rack. Charlie would assume I'd eaten breakfast because I'd washed up the pot. Edward, he would too. The only reason I had to do this was because I knew he'd be listening in on me outside, it was for his sake. So he thought I was still eating. It was routine.

I finished up in the kitchen and went outside to Edward's Volvo and opened the door and sat in the car. I tried to close the door but it was too heavy, but managed it before Edward could say anything.

"Good morning, love." Edward greeted me, leaning over to kiss me and twisting his fingers with mine.

I smiled back at him the best I could but I felt weak. Edward slightly frowned but just pulled out of the drive way and speed his car of to school. As soon as we'd reached school, I realised I'd forgotten something. I started flicking the elastic band on my wrist.

"I've forgotten something." I muttered to Edward just as he was getting out of the car.

"Do you want me to go back and get it for you?" Edward asked closing his door again.

"Drive me back, I'll get it myself." I asked, I couldn't have Edward knowing what I wanted, what I needed right now.

Edward sat in his seat but made no move to drive back to my house. "Bella? What's wrong?" Edward asked. "Are you sick? You look a little pale. Do you want to go see Carlisle?" Edward was beginning to fret now, over a pathetic fat useless human.

"No I'm fine. It doesn't matter, forget it." I assured him getting out of the car to head to our first lesson. I crossed my arms across myself trying to keep the warmth in and to help the pain, walking next to Edward who put his arm around me. I'd would of shaken his arm off for being so cold, but it was comforting. So I pressed my body into his side, and made our way to our first class.

The first two classes flew by quickly and Edward kept giving me the same look he'd been giving me the past two weeks. I waved my hand at him numerous times to wave it off and told him I was perfectly fine, he was just being paranoid.

Since I didn't have my third lesson with Edward and I was getting tired I decided to go home and retrieve my essentials I'd forgotten.

As soon as I was out of Edward's eyesight I ran for it as fast as I could stumbling over a few times, and began jogging back to the confines of my house and into my bedroom.

I lifted up the floor board and picked out the two items I'd completely forgotten this morning, and grabbing the third. I took a moment to look at all the food I'd hidden under there and smiled to myself, I should be proud. Noticing the time on the clock I never bothered with I realised that if I didn't leave now I'd end up being late back, and I'd already missed the bell signalling for the start of the fourth hour class. I shoved my stuff into my second jumpers pocket and pulled the floorboards back over the floor, and ran down the stairs concentrating on my feet, only managing to trip once, which was a record for me.

I locked the front door as I left and began a nice fast jog back to school, concentrating on my feet, making sure of every step I took. I ran into the car lot hearing the bell go for lunch. I walked into the cafeteria still breathing heavily after three minutes. I picked up a bottle of water and an empty cup that no one would be able to see into and went to pay for it. I sat down at our normal table, the second one there. Alice was already sitting opposite me with a tight smile across her face.

"Edward's mad." She broke the silence.

"He'll live." I muttered under my breathe, knowing she would hear me, as I poured the water into the opaque cup and slipping out two of my caffeine pills and two of the dieting pills I bought last week into my hand. I hadn't tried them yet, so I didn't know if they worked. I held the cup under the table and put them in as subtle as I could trying to hide it from Alice and put them in, then took a big swig of the pills and the water which where now dissolving inside the water.

Mixing diet tablets and caffeine pills should be fine as far as I was concerned. I don't think it'd do much harm to someone like me.

Alice's eyes tightened at me, and suspicion grew in her facial features. "What's _your_ problem?" I hissed at her, angry for her staring at me. "Weren't you ever told its rude to stare?"

Jessica, Mike and Lauren sat down in their usual places giving me off looks. Alice just laughed and turned to look at Edward walking over to us with his 'props'. "Someone's got some explaining to do... unless..." She trailed of using that smile she uses when she wants one thing. Shopping.

"Fine." I muttered, just as Edward caught my eyes and started walking over to sit down.

He put his tray down making the food slightly jump on the plate. Both Alice and I stifled a laugh and turned away from him, for fear our faces would give us away. But Edward wasn't that stupid and knew we where laughing.

"Ha Ha." He muttered sarcastically, then turned to face me. "Where did you disappear to for the last two lessons." He questioned me.

I opened my mouth to speak but Alice interrupted. "She was with me, woman's problems." I caught her sticking her tongue out of her mouth at Edward.

Edward narrowed his eyes at his pixie like sister, then looked back at me, leaning down to whisper into my ear. "I'm not stupid Bella, I'd be able to smell it." He accused.

I blushed crimson and shivered from the cold. "Don't be so rude." I scowled at him, standing up to leave. Edward grabbed my wrist but I shook it off. "Leave me alone." I muttered, then drank the rest of my water and took my tray over to the trash can to dispose of it. I stormed off to the girls lavatories and locked myself in the end cubicle and curled up into a ball.

What on earth was his problem? Can't he just leave me be, I skipped two lessons, he can't act like he's never done it before. The cheek of it. Tears streamed down my face violently.

A tap came from the cubicle door. "Bella, its me." Alice chirped from the other side.

I stood up and unlocked the door for her to come in. Alice stepped in and closed the door behind her. I sat back down on the floor with my head leaning on my knees, and hugging my legs against me. Alice sat down next to me and put her arm around me in a friendly manner.

"Bella? What's wrong?" Alice asked.

"Nothing." I mumbled into my knees. "Doesn't matter."

"Bella your eyes look awful." She commented. "I'll do some make up for you." She instantly sounded really happy at the idea. "Are you going to tell me what you put in that water."

"Paracetamol." I lied. "Had a headache."

"Close your eyes so I can get to work." Alice ordered. "I know your lying, and I knew you weren't going to tell me, but why wouldn't you tell me?"

"If you know what I'm going to reply with why do you bother?" I argued, opening my eyes.

Alice shrugged. "I wondered if you'd change your mind." Then she grinned. "Lets talk shopping, you owe me, if I didn't come in here after you, Edward would of come in here himself, despite it being the girls toilets."

"He didn't say anything did he?"

Alice shook her head. I smiled at her, in relief. I loved Alice at moments like these, but a large part of me hated her for some reason, I couldn't put my finger on it.

"We'll have to get you a nice new dress!" She squealed. "Blue? Since it Edwards favourite colour on you.. maybe not you'd look great in a nice little black dress, or maybe red!" She rattled on for the rest of lunch.

When the bell went marking the start of our lessons both Alice and I got up and exited the cubicle. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror. I had to admit, Alice worked wonders with a little bit of foundation. Alice gave me a quick hug and a reassuring smile on the way out of the toilets, before skipping off down the corridor to her next class.

I walked into my biology class and sat myself down in my seat, fortunately Edward wasn't here yet so I had time to make up an excuse for my foul behaviour knowing Edward, he would want answers.

I got out my writing pad and began doodling in the back pages. The class filled up with other students, and then Mr Banner came in to start the lesson, wheeling in an old video cassette and television.

"Afternoon class, we're going to watch a video for the first half an hour of the lesson, and then I've got some sheets for you to fill in." I groaned and put my face into my arms on the desk, great today was going to take forever. "Ah.. Mr Cullen, so nice of you to join us today." Mr Banner remarked sarcastically.

I peeped out of my folded arms to see Edward walking over to our desk, with a sorry look in his eyes.

"Sorry sir." He spoke clearly, then sat down next to me, moving his chair closer.

The room suddenly got colder and I shivered hugging myself closer together. Edward slipped of his jacket and placed it over my shoulders smiling at me.

"Thank you." I whispered pushing my arms into his sleeve pockets and folding my arms back up to rest on the desk where I put my head down on the desk.

The light switch was turned off and Mr Banner hushed the class into silence. I could feel Edward place his arm across my shoulder and start rubbing the side of my arm to make it warmer. "I'm sorry for being unpleasant to you earlier." Edward whispered into my ear. "It was offensive, I know." He kissed my under my ear lobe. "Will you forgive me?"

"Of course." I mumbled into my arm, closing my eyes. I could hear Edward chuckle softly but otherwise ignored it. My head thumped harder and I groaned. This could be one of the worst headaches I've ever had.

"What's wrong love?" Edward whispered in my ear.

"Headache, nothing to worry yourself over Edward." I mumbled.

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	2. Chapter 2

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT :)**

**Edward's Point Of View**

"Bella." I whispered into Bella's ear, she'd fallen asleep during that awful video Mr Banner insisted on showing us, and he'd just flicked the lights back on. "Bella, wake up." I whispered again.

Mr Banner was walking over to our desk and his way of waking Bella up wasn't at all nice, I just hoped Bella would wake up some time soon.

"Bella, if you don't wake up now, your going to get into a lot of trouble with Mr Banner." I whispered, stroking her hair gently.

"Mmm Edward." Bella murmured. _Great_. Bella was now sleep talking in biology.

Mr Banner stood in front of our desk with one arm on his hip and another clutching a thick book. I mouthed the word no to him, but he smirked, then dropped his book right in front of Bella, creating a loud thud. Bella sat up straight in her chair, blinking furiously, then put a hand over her heart, I could hear it pumping furiously and louder than it had been in the past few weeks, venom welled in my mouth, and I swallowed it back. Mr Banner stood in front of her with his arms folded smirking, and laughing mentally.

"And what do you think your doing, Miss Swan?" He grinned.

"Sorry sir." Bella looked down at her hands. "I fell asleep." She mumbled.

"Well I could see that, but why in my lesson Miss Swan?"

"I was tired sir." Bella replied and a blush covered her face.

"Well its a shame your going to have to spend Saturday morning with the principle, so you can't catch up on your sleep then." He smirked then walked off to the front of the room to write Bella out a slip.

Bella bashed her head with her hand and slightly winced. I rubbed her back gently. It wasn't Bella's fault she hardly gets much sleep, maybe I should leave her alone for a while so she can do some catching up?

Bella sighed heavily and started writing on her worksheet. At the end of the lesson Bella packed all her stuff up and stood next to me waiting with an impatient smile on her face, and grabbed my hand on the way out. As soon as we stepped outside of the classroom Bella pulled me to the side and shoved her face in my chest, wrapping her arms around me.

"I love you." She murmured into my chest.

I grinned and wrapped my arms around her. "As I love you." I replied, kissing the top of her head. "Lets skip gym class." I smiled down at her. Bella looked up at me and her eyes looked very troubled. "What?" I laughed.

"I want to go to gym."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "You sure?"

"Definite."

"Then lets go." I smiled and walked her to the woman's locker room. I kissed her on the forehead then left to go to the men's locker room to change for myself. I threw on my kit and went to go into the hall to wait for the rest of the class.

_The idiot doesn't even know that we're meant to be outside for gym today. Ha, love to see what punishment he'd get for turning up late when he realises no ones there and he's late._

Thanks Mike. I smiled inwardly, walked back to my stuff and took out my jumper. I wouldn't need it but it wasn't that warm outside and I'd look like the odd one out without it. I put on the jumper and walked back outside to where Coach Clapp was waiting for everyone.

"I still feel sorry for Edward having to put up with her, she's just so plain and ordinary. I wonder when he'll realise Bella isn't his type at all." Jessica muttered.

"I mean, she's so plain its disgusting." Lauren Malorey whispered to Jessica who nodded her head in agreement.

"There's really nothing attractive about her." Jessica replied.

I could see Bella walk out of the changing room having head what they said, I walked over to Bella and grabbed her into a massive hug. "I'm sorry you had to hear that love."

Bella shook her head. "It doesn't matter, it's still true."

"Don't you ever say that." I growled. "Jessica and Lauren are just jealous of you, who wouldn't be. Your amazing Bella. I truly believe that." I kissed her on the forehead.

"Thank you Edward." She gave me another hug again, then shivered. I pulled off my sweatshirt and gave it to her. If anything, I didn't want Bella ill, I'd do anything if Bella ever got sick.

"I feel like I'm stealing all your clothes." Bella muttered putting my sweatshirt on. Bella looked adorable in the blue sweatshirt that came up to just above her knees.

Coach Clapp called for the classes attention. Everyone turned around to face him.

"You've got a choice on what you want to do today, you can either play baseball, or cross country." Coach Clapp smiled, thinking people would like him a lot better, but from everyone else's thoughts, they where far from making him their favourite person. "Everyone who wants to play baseball can go to the baseball pitch, the rest who want to do cross country can get started."

I looked towards Bella to see what she would choose, probably Baseball, she wouldn't have to do much. Bella looked like she was calculating something in her head, then her head snapped up and she grinned at me walking over to the side to do cross country. Alice walked up to Bella and got deep into conversation about their shopping trip Alice was planning tomorrow, Bella looked like she needed someone to intervene in the conversation before Alice caused the death of her with shopping talk. Bella started running staring and concentrating on her feet without both Alice and I.

Alice turned around to me and held her hand out.

_Mobile please._ She smiled innocently.

"Where's your mobile?" I asked.

_Emmett broke it, now please? I'm only doing this so I can chat to Jazz whilst having to run like a snail._

"Fine." I muttered. I threw my phone over to her which she caught in one hand, and flicked it out and dialled a number in a matter of seconds. "Alice, that was too fast for in front of humans, what if someone noticed you?"

_But they didn't._

"Just be careful next time." I muttered and sprinted at a humans pace to catch up to Bella, then began running just as fast as her.

Bella kept running at an exceptionally good pace for a human, but kept her eyes on her feet. She'd even refused to look at me so she could stay upright. I smiled at her, proud of her only falling over four times. It was Bella's personal best. When Bella stopped for a minute to sit down and take a breathe I sat down next to her, rubbing her back.

"Congratulations! Bella!" I cheered. "You only fell over four times." I could tell that my smile was prominent on my face. Alice started chanting Bella's name from across the track. Bella's face turned a beautiful shade of crimson. I stroked her cheek whilst she tried to get her breathe back. "You know that blush looks beautiful on you." I commented. "And I never knew you was the one who preferred running over baseball."

"I wanted to do something other than get hit with a ball Edward." Bella sighed. "Go and play baseball, I know you want to." She looked up at me.

I knew she was right, I would like to play baseball, it was one of my favourite sports. But _human_ baseball tends to get slightly on the boring side.

_Come on Edward, I'll play too, it'll be fun._ Alice thought as she came jogging up behind Bella.

"Fine Alice, come on." I muttered. Alice ran over to the baseball pitch to join a team. "Bella, are you sure you'll be all right?"

"I think I can manage to live for the next thirty or so minutes without your aid." Bella laughed.

I kissed her on the forehead then ran off after Alice to join the game.

I was told to join Tyler's team and Alice to join Mike's. On my goes I pretended to miss the ball, then on the second go, I scored a home run much to Mike Newtons disappointment. I was deflating his ego like this, I felt sort of bad. But knowing what things he thought about Bella, I was far from feeling sorry for the pervert. Who did he think he was thinking about my Bella that way?

I spent the rest of my teams time batting engraving little B's into the bench, till we where called out to bat.

Alice was jumping up and down begging Mike to let her go first. Mike gave into her and let her have her chance.

_See the faint smoke over there Edward? Go check it out, I'll hit the ball in the other direction, when no ones looking check it out. Got it?_ Alice thought. _You need to sort this out. _She thought again putting emphasis on the word you.

I stuck my thumbs up at her and ran to where the smoke was coming from. Alice stepped up to bat. Tyler threw the ball at her and Alice hit it so no one would see me. I checked everyone's thoughts to see if anyone was watching me... the coast was clear. I ran towards the smoke, when I stumbled on the one person I'd never expect to be smoking...

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	3. Chapter 3

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT :)**

**wish I did though :(**

**Bella's Point Of View**

"Bella?" Edward stated my name in an upset voice.

I quickly ground the cigarette into the dirt and threw it over my shoulder, hopefully Edward wouldn't of had seen it. I'd needed that cigarette, it had subsided my hunger for the moment, I'd need another one later, when Charlie would think I was doing homework in the garden. I looked up at him and smiled innocently.

"What the hell are you doing!" Edward growled.

"Just catching my breathe back." I lied. "I was about to start another lap actually..." I muttered getting back onto my feet and started walking back out to where the rest of the class was. Edward caught my wrist and spun me around to face him, still holding on my wrist. "What? Do you have a problem with that, _Edward_."

"Explain yourself."

"Why should I?" I muttered and tried to shake my wrist free of his grasp. "And get off me."

Edward let go off my wrist and stared at me with a pained expression. "Bella, please just at least give the rest to me?"

"Nope." I grinned popping the 'p'. "Bella's cigarettes, not Edward's. Get your own." I laughed, only humour would be right at times like these, and walked back out to the field and began running again.

Coach Clapp called everyone back and sent everyone back inside to get changed. Now for the hard bit.. to shower without having to actually shower. I didn't want people to have to see my body, it'd shock them how I'd have the nerve to go walking though the showers naked whilst having to look at the fat on me ripple when I cleaned myself. I grabbed my towel, and walked to a sink. I splashed my face with water, and wrapped my hair up in my towel making it seem as though I'd washed myself. I walked over to my stuff, more like tripped, and changed back into my previous clothes before gym.

I picked up my stuff, throwing my backpack across my shoulder and then left before Alice could realise. I walked of the campus and started the long walk home. I'd already ran home and back before lunch, walking home wouldn't be a problem. I doubted Edward would want to go anywhere near me after today's going ons in gym class.

I'd walked just over five hundred steps, when a car pulled up beside me. I didn't even turn to look who it was, I knew who it was already.

"Bella, just get in the car." Edward ordered.

"You don't want me in your car." I continued on walking.

I could hear his footsteps as he caught up to me and bent down to whisper in my ear. "Whether you do or don't smoke, I still love you, and I'll always want and love you no matter what, now just get into the car, or I'll drag you into it."He threatened.

Realising this was true, I stopped and turned to look at Edward, sighing, I retreated to the passenger seat. Edward smoothly got in the drivers seat and sped of again. The rest of the journey continued in an awkward silence, till Alice started yapping on about some shopping trip she'd been planning to go on to L.A which I'd refused to go on, and no one was willing to go with her on.

"When should we go on this shopping trip you owe me Bella?" Alice asked from the back seat.

"Tomorrow." I grinned. I couldn't face a day at school.

"Bella, I love you!" Alice squealed in a voice too high.

I put my hands over my ears, and smiled inwardly. At least I could make Alice happy.

"Edward, you should drop Bella off first, Charlie is going to be home when she gets back, then she can come over to ours so Bella and I can discuss clothes with my new vogue magazine that came in the post while we where at school, there's some stuff in there I know for definite would look great on Bella."

"No wonder you was locked up in a mental asylum when you was human." Edward laughed at Alice.

Alice just stuck her little tongue out at him in the mirror. "Your just jealous, because me turning into a vampire was _fate_. It was meant to be."

Edward rolled his eyes at her, then stopped outside my house. "I'll be back in five minutes to pick you up. Don't do anything stupid whilst I'm gone, I'll know."

"Fine." I grumbled and got out the door and walked up into the house. I turned back once I got to the threshold to look at Edward. He was staring at me, as if he was questioning my sanity.

I turned back into the house and shut the door, and walked into the living room, and collapsed on the couch and snuggled my face into the pillow, and before I knew it, I was asleep...

"Bells." Came a rough voice, then someone was shaking my shoulder.

"What?" I mumbled into the pillow.

"Get up, you've fallen asleep on the couch."

I sat up and groggily wiped my eyes. "How long was I asleep?" I asked Charlie who was sitting on the edge of the couch. Did I really take up that much space that Charlie had no where to sit? How disgusting.

"Half an hour, I thought you could do with the sleep, anyway I brought back pizza for dinner." Charlie smiled. "Good idea too, you look right out of it, maybe you should go back to sleep for another hour or so."

I swung my legs over the side of the couch, and shook my head. "No, I'm meant to be waiting for Edward to come back, I was going to go and eat with his family today." I lied.

"If you say so Bells." Charlie smiled and walked into the kitchen, carrying the pizza box.

I walked in after him and picked up the phone and dialled for the Cullen's house number, someone picked up on the first ring.

"Bella! Edward just left." Alice shouted down the phone.

"You don't need to shout down the phone Alice, I can still hear you perfectly fine." I laughed.

"Very funny." Alice laughed. "He'll be there in exactly one minute Bella, I'll see you later."

Ill see you later? Did that mean Edward had plans for us to go round to his house? I'd been trying my best to stay away from the Cullen's house, mostly because if Carlisle saw me, I'd have some explaining to do.

"OK, bye." I replied quickly.

"Don't forget to ask Charlie about tomorrow!" Alice shouted down the phone.

"Will do." I hung up the phone, and let out a breathe I didn't know I was holding.

"Something wrong?" Charlie asked from the table.

"No." I turned around to face him, and sat down at the table. "Can I go shopping tomorrow with Alice Dad?" I asked.

"Don't you have school, it's a Tuesday tomorrow."

"Yeah I know, but I promised Alice."

"I assume Edward's going too?" Charlie mumbled.

"No actually, he's not." I replied.

"Oh, well, then I guess you can go." Charlie said whilst picking up another slice of pizza.

Three knocks at the door had me up on my feet to go answer the door. I opened the door and grinned at Edward, wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing myself close to him.

"Hello sleepy head." Edward laughed in my ear.

"Where have you been?" I questioned. "I've been waiting."

"Alice said you could do with some sleep before we go out." Edward explained.

I laughed and grabbed my coat from the hook. "Sounds about right." Then I spoke louder. "Bye Dad, I'll be back later."

I laced my fingers with Edward's hand and Edward walked me to the passengers seat in silence. I got in the car and watched Edward walk around into his side at a human pace, then sat down in his seat, but made no move to start driving.

"I spoke to Carlisle about today." Edward said whilst gazing into my eyes.

I turned away to look out the window not wanting to look Edward in the eye. "Oh." I muttered.

"I wanted him to check you over, he's expecting us in his office at the hospital." He continued. "And we'll get you something to eat now if you want."

"Already eaten." I muttered. "And I don't need to see Carlisle, I'm fine as I am."

"Sure you are Bella, then please enlighten me on why your smoking behind my back?"

"Because I choose to."

"What for Bella?! It'll end up killing you."

"And you care because?" I growled.

"Bella, unless you've forgotten, I love you, and I don't want anything happening to you."

"Fine then, I'll stop right now. No need to see Carlisle. No need to make a fuss over nothing." Edward's eyes tightened at me whilst speaking about making no fuss, then he started the car and started driving. "Where are we going?"

"Port Angeles." He sighed. "How long have you been smoking, Bella?"

"A week." I lied. I'd discovered cigarettes had curbed my hunger _months_ ago.

Edward turned to face me with a knowing look. "The truth."

"Two weeks after you left me." I whispered, a tear rolling down my cheek at the memory of Edward leaving me and knowing it could happen again any minute now.

Edward brushed away the tears with the ends of his finger tips. "I'll never forgive myself for leaving you, Bella." He whispered. "If I could, I'd take away the memories Bella, but I can't, and I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." His voice was almost inaudible.

"Your here now, it doesn't matter, as long as your with me, Edward." I whispered grabbing hold of his hand and squeezing it. "I love you."

"Not as much as I love you." He smiled, and pressed down on the accelerator. "I'll make it better Bella."

I smiled at Edward and sat up to kiss him gently on the check. "I know." I whispered before sitting down in my chair and leaning against his side.

Edward drove into Port Angeles parked his car, got out his side, and walked over to open mine. Edward walked us into a pharmacy, and straight to the smoking section.

"What do you want?" Edward asked looking down at me.

"I don't know? Your being ridiculous Edward." I muttered.

"Me? Ridiculous? Your the one we're here for Bella." He whispered in my ear.

"Don't be so melodramatic Edward." I growled starting to feel slightly dizzy. "Can we just go already?" I sighed.

Edward rolled his eyes and began picking up items of the shelf, reading them, then putting them back. "I'll get you some patches and some gum, all right?"

"Can I go wait in the car?" I asked quietly.

Edward handed me his car keys, without meeting my eyes. "Be careful."

"Sure sure." I mumbled walking out of the store, and across the lot to Edward's Volvo.

I opened the door and sat in the passenger seat. I rested my head against the chair and gazed out the window watching shoppers walk by happily. What had I got myself into? My boyfriend now thought I was some kind of tobacco maniac. At least it was better then the truth.

The drivers door opened then closed, and I felt something being placed on my lap. The leaflet that lay in my lap shone in my eyes. I needed to escape from this living nightmare. I tore my eyes from the leaflet and looked at Edward, who was taking various objects out of a bag and placing them on the dashboard.

"I didn't know what to get you. So I got you patches, gum and some inhaler things." He mumbled quietly to me.

I picked up the box with the inhalers and opened it slowly with shaky hands and brought the little white thing up to my mouth. I guess this thing would be the same as smoking a normal cigarette. I put it between my lips and sucked on it. I smiled. It was just as good as smoking.

"Mmmm." I sighed closing my eyes and relaxing back in my chair. Edward started the engine and began driving at a normal human pace. "What's the rush?" I laughed.

Edward cracked a smile. "Just giving you some time." He started to cheer up and brushed a piece of my hair behind my ear. "What does it taste like. Just out of curiosity."

"Just like the real thing, except without the smoke, and its real good." I murmured, sucking on it again.

Edward took it from my mouth and sucked on it, making a disgusted face then handed it back to me. "Vile." He muttered. "Even to me, its worse then normal human medicine."

I laughed and leaned into Edwards side, and knotted our fingers together. "Thank you." I grinned kissing his shoulder.

"Anything for you." Edward kissed the top of my head, then put the rest of the items he'd bought in the glove compartment of his car.

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	4. Chapter 4

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT :)**

**wish I did though :(**

**Bella's Point Of View**

I looked in the mirror and traced my fingers over where my ribs where showing. I smiled then stepped onto the scales, and read it. Eighty four pounds. I didn't know if this was due to all my running yesterday or the dieting pills. But whatever it was, it worked, and I'd carry on doing it until I looked perfect.

I spun around and looked at the way my bones stuck out in places, and poked at the fat hoping for it to disappear like I always did.

I threw on some clothes and made my way downstairs.

Edward had planned to go hunting with his brothers whilst Alice was planning on driving into Seattle to start our shopping trip there.

I sat at the kitchen awaiting Alice's arrival whilst Charlie sat opposite digging into his breakfast. Mine sat in front of me untouched.

"Aren't you hungry Bells?" Charlie questioned eyeing me.

I picked up a rasher of bacon and began pulling the fatty bits of it, when Charlie's eyes drifted back to his food I shoved it in a tissue on my lap, and pretended to chew and swallow for Charlie's sake. A knock came from the door and I got up to answer it. Alice stood at the door grinning and walked in to sit on the third unoccupied chair. "Good Morning Charlie." Alice smiled.

"Hey Alice." Charlie smiled back. "Want some breakfast, there's some left in the pan on the stove, I can heat it up for you."

"No thank you Charlie, I've already eaten." Alice lied, then turned to me. "When your ready we'll leave." She smiled.

"About that." Charlie interjected, talking to Alice. "Try and get back early so you can catch up on some school work, after your trip here, and Bella, try to get an early night tonight, I heard about your little sleep in school yesterday." Of course. Charlie would know, everyone would know. Nothing was kept secret. The only people in this town who had secrets was the Cullen's.

"Sure sure."I mumbled walking upstairs to put some shoes and socks on. I closed my bedroom door and quickly removed the floorboard and hid the piece of bacon in there. I quickly took two caffeine tablets and swallowed them dry, then covered up the floor boards. I pulled on my two warmest pair of socks then put my boots on, making my feet feel incredibly comfortable.

I walked back down the stairs managing to trip twice on my way into the kitchen and smiled at Alice.

"Can we go now?" She begged impatient.

I nodded and walked to the front door grabbing my coat on the way out. "Bye Dad." I shouted and followed after Alice. "Edward's Volvo?" I asked in astonishment, staring at Edward's car, Edward never let anyone drive his beloved Volvo.

"I know." She laughed. "But he had no other choice. I could of shown up in the vanquish or Mercedes, but Edward wouldn't approve of it." She rolled her eyes and got in the car. I copied and sat in my usual seat.

I put on my seat belt whilst Alice was already driving down the road at eighty four miles per hour already.

I opened Edward's glove compartment and took out the box of inhalers he'd left in there from last night. I smiled at Alice nervously and she just laughed. "Don't worry about it Bella. I already know."

"Thanks." I mumbled, sucking on the end of one and putting the box back in the glove compartment and closing it. The inhalers didn't curb my hunger like the cigarettes did, but at least it was better then going without a cigarette.

The meter showed Alice was starting to go over one hundred and ten, so I closed my eyes as to not startle myself by looking out of the window.

Forty five minutes later and we where in Seattle, Alice had drug me into several shops and was now going through the summer clothes. Why you would need summer clothes in rainy Forks, I don't know.

Alice piled up clothes in my arms and hers, then pushed me towards the changing rooms. I tried on all the clothes, not liking any of them. I opened the door and put the pile of clothes on a chair.

I heard Alice curse under her breathe about me having no fashion sense what so ever, then walk over to me with more pieces of clothes.

"Here, Bella try one of these on." Alice held up two swimsuits, one a black two piece, the other a navy blue one piece swimsuit.

"Alice! Swimsuits? Be serious it's April, and we live in Forks, it isn't August and we don't live in Phoenix." I muttered.

"But Bella!" Alice huffed throwing her arms up in the air. "All the good ones come out around now, that's why there's rubbish ones out in the summer. Just choose one or I'll force them both on you." She wined.

"Fine." I muttered picking up the navy blue one piece set and walking off into the changing room.

I pulled of my clothes and tried it on. Alice knocked on the door.

"Can I see it yet?" She pleaded.

"It doesn't fit." I muttered. "Its too baggy."

"Oh." She sounded shocked. "I'm never usually wrong about peoples clothes sizes, I would of sworn you was a size two. Guess I'll just have to go find you a size zero then." She prattled on whilst I listened to her footsteps go off in a hurry. I turned back to look at myself in the mirror. Size zero? I was proud with myself. If I could achieve this, then I could get rid of the rest of the fat on my body. I poked the fat on my body with a finger trying to make it go away some how. But I knew it wouldn't ever go away, and not eating seems like a good way to go about it.

"Catch." Alice said excitingly from outside. The swimsuit came over, and I missed catching it. What else did Alice expect? tried it on then looked in the mirror. It was still baggy, and I doubted there was a size that would fit me perfectly. I sighed and took it off, and put it back on the hanger, and passed it back over the top of the changing room, and changed back into my clothes from before.

"Bella, what's wrong with it?" Alice asked.

"Nothing." I lied.

Alice's eyes glazed over, like she does when she was looking into the future. Her eyes turned back to normal then the pushed me into the changing room and locked the door.

"Pull up your shirt." She ordered. I stood there staring at her as if she was crazy. "Don't act like I've never seen you naked before Bella. I showered you for three months last summer." I stared at her, and started to walk towards the door so I could get away from her. Alice stood in front of the door, blocking my only way out.

"Alice." I whined.

"I swear Bella. Don't make me rip your shirt off." She threatened. Realising the threat was true, I lifted my top

shirt to show another shirt. "Bella." Alice growled. I rolled my eyes and lifted up all three of my shirts. Exposing my body to Alice. Alice's eyes widened and her hand flew to her mouth.

She then put her hand into her handbag and brought out a phone and put it to her ear. "Alice... please don't." I whispered dropping my shirts back down to cover me.

Alice pressed a button and closed her phone and put it back in her hand bag, glaring at me. "Why Bella." She asked.

I turned my back to her, not wanting to look at her any more. "Can we go home now." I whispered.

I could hear Alice unlock the door and turned to see her leave and give back all the clothes to the lady at the entrance of the changing rooms.

"Didn't you find anything you liked?" She asked.

"No." Alice said glumly, then motioned for me to hurry up and leave with her.

As we left the shop and got into Edward's Volvo, Alice kept giving me upset looks, and she didn't say a word to me. Alice started the engine and began driving home not looking my way any more.

The rest of the drive home continued in the same way, and it stayed in the same awkward silence, till Alice pulled up outside Charlie's house.

I opened the door and put one step outside of the car. "Edward isn't going to be happy, you do know that don't you Bella?" Alice spoke to me.

"Edward won't find out if you know what's best." I muttered.

I realised my threat wasn't very convincing, and probably made me sound like an idiot at the same time. Me attempting to take on Alice would only end up in me injuring myself some how. I sighed and stepped out of the car.

I walked up the steps and when I turned around, Alice was gone. "Stupid sly vampires." I muttered quietly under my breathe.

"Dad, are you in?" I called.

"In here Bells." Charlie replied from the living room. I walked into the living room and sat down on the love seat. "Have a nice time?" Charlie asked.

"Anything but that." I grumbled. "I hate shopping."

Charlie laughed then turned back to the game. "You eaten yet?" He asked.

"Yeah, I ate earlier with Alice." I lied.

"There's spare pizza in the fridge just in case you want it." Charlie mumbled watching the game.

"Sure sure." I replied. How freaking disgusting? Pizza two days in a row. "I'm going upstairs to go do some homework, then get some sleep. Night." I mumbled getting up.

"Night Bells." Charlie replied his eyes still intent on the flat screen.

I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water, then I trudged up the stairs and into my bedroom, closing the door behind me. I drained the glass of water in seconds, then placed it on my bedside table and sat down on my bed, and soon, my eyes fluttered closed.

I woke up in the middle of the night feeling something hard and cold. I turned around in Edward's arms and kissed his chin. "I missed you today." I whispered.

Edward looked at me upset. Alice had told him, the traitor. "Why Bella." He questioned.

"I don't know what your talking about." I muttered, upset he was bringing it up.

"You now what I'm taking about Bella. And there's a name for it. Anorexia." He sighed. "It's not right Bella."

"Are you implying I have some sort of eating disorder? Edward, I'm perfectly fine." I mumbled, then yawned.

"Get some sleep." Edward said. "We'll continue this discussion in the morning."

I buried my face in his chest and closed my eyes shut as Edward started to hum my lullaby.

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	5. Chapter 5

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT :)**

**Bella's Point Of View**

I groaned and twisted and turned as I woke up. I heard Edward's laughter but it sounded off. I sat up straight then rubbed my eyes with the back of my hands. "What time is it?" I asked Edward.

"Quarter to eight." He replied.

"Crap." I mumbled. "I slept for over twelve hours." I mumbled astonished.

"You needed your sleep." He murmured and kissed my check. "Charlie's already gone to work. Get ready, I'll be waiting for you downstairs, Love." He caressed the side of my face with his hand. I got up and grabbed my toiletries and clothes and made my way to the bathroom to get ready. In a haste I brushed my hair and splashed my face with water and changed. I ignored the little offensive white box in the corner and promised to weight myself later. I took my time walking down the stairs, concentrating on each and every step I took. I walked into the kitchen where Edward was standing my the cooker.

"Sit down." He ordered. I obeyed and sat down in the chair. Edward placed a plate in front of me with toast and scrambled eggs. "Eat." He ordered again pushing a fork into my hand.

He had me. I was cornered. I stared at the disgusting pile of food. Edward stared at me the whole time. I had no other choice, but to eat it, just to prove him wrong. I lifted the fork up carefully and stuck it into the food, and brought a tiny bit up. I saw Edward's eyes tighten, as I looked at the food on my fork hesitantly. I shoved it in my mouth, I chewed it slowly then swallowed. I put the fork back into the food, aware of Edward still watching me from across the table. I took another bigger fork full and shoved it into my mouth, and continued eating the disgusting offensive food.

I finished all of the food. I felt overwhelmed with the amount of food I'd eaten and ran up the stairs in record time, not even managing to trip or buckle. I opened the bathroom door and threw myself on the floor by the toilet and purged into the toilet bowel. I felt Edward's arms grab me from behind and I turned around and started crying into his chest. He knew.

I felt an arm let go and heard the flushing of the toilet shortly after. "I'm so sorry." I sobbed into is chest.

"Shh" Edward murmured soothingly.

I pulled myself out of Edward's arms and wiped away the tears. I got up and splashed my face with water, then got out my toothbrush and put toothpaste on it, and began brushing my teeth. I washed my mouth out, then put my toothbrush back down.

Edward carried me down the stairs and lay me down on the couch. "Do you want to go back to bed?" He asked.

I shook my head no to him. "I want to go to school." I said swinging my legs over the side of the couch too fast making me feel dizzy. I stood up and swayed slightly, Edward put his arms on my shoulders and steadied me.

"Bella, I don't think your well enough." He whispered to me.

"I'm fine, just take me to school or I'll drive myself." I grumbled. Edward took my hand and picked up my book bag and walked us to the front door. Edward helped me put on my coat and opened the door. I stepped outside and Edward shut the door and locked it for me.

He walked me to the car and opened the passenger door. I obediently got in and Edward did the same. He drove to school in a rush, then got out and opened my door helping me out offering his hand. I grabbed it and Edward pulled me up with ease, and slammed the door shut.

Edward walked us into our first hour class, and the rest of the lessons seemed to go by incredibly fast for once. As I stepped out of my lesson right before lunch, I realised Edward wasn't there waiting for me as usual. I tried to act normal and go to lunch like I normally would if it was a rare sunny day in Forks. I picked up a bottle of water and went to go and sit down.

"Where's Edward?" I asked Alice as she picked off bits of her bagel.

"Had some errands to run." She smiled innocently. I raised an eyebrow but didn't question it any further. I unscrewed my water bottle and drank it. "Not hungry?" She asked concerned.

"Edward made me a big breakfast." I muttered.

"I see." She smiled.

The rest of lunch passed quickly, too and so did Biology and Gym. I walked out of Gym to find Alice waiting outside smiling at me. She quickly skipped over to me and linked arms with me.

"Still no Edward?" I asked depressed.

She shook her head. "I'm driving you back, Edward will be over later."

"Oh." I mumbled and began walking with Alice to Edward's Volvo.

"Could you walk any slower" Alice whined.

"Sorry? Am I going too fast? I'll slow down." I laughed, walking even slower then I already was. Alice growled and I laughed, and began quickening my pace.

Alice drove me home, then skipped and danced her way up the stairs and into the living room. I followed her in shutting the front door. "Edward's taking you to see Carlisle for a check up, so try to stay awake." She smiled, then skipped back off outside and drove of before I could reply.

"Bye." I muttered sarcastically to myself.

I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water and chugged it down. If I could drink a massive amount of water I'd put on a bit of weight and get away with it. I grinned at my genius idea, and refilled the glass and repeated this a total of eighteen times.

After I couldn't drink any more I felt sluggish and could almost feel all the water turning around inside of me. I sat down on the couch awaiting for Edward and restrained myself from running to the bathroom and trying to get it out of my system, it'd ruin my work and I'd have to start all over again.

Edward knocked on the front door, then walked in casually. "Alice said she told you I was taking you to see Carlisle." He sighed. I nodded my head. "Come on then." He smiled sweetly walking back outside and getting into his Volvo.

Edward drove us to the hospital. I refused to get out of the car, so Edward grabbed me and slung me over his shoulder casually as if I was just a sack of potatoes. "Edward, put me down now." I snarled.

Edward opened a door and closed it shut behind him. "Edward." Carlisle sighed. I turned around in Edward's arms to see him. He was wearing his white doctors jacket, and shaking his head at Edward.

"She wouldn't get out the car." He grumbled and sat me down on the bed with crinkly paper. "There was no other choice."

I rolled my eyes and stared at the boring white wall.

Carlisle and Edward seemed to be in some silent discussion, and Edward kept nodding and shaking his head at Carlisle. I faked a cough to remind them that I was still in the room. Carlisle and Edward both turned to face me. Carlisle's expression sheepish and Edward's disappointed.

"Sorry Bella." Carlisle apologized. "We'll just get on with it. Edward you can wait outside." Edward obliged and left the room. "I'll need you to strip down to your underwear so I can weigh you." He informed me.

I stared at him. I wasn't stripping down to my underwear for my future dad. I shook my head. "No."

"Do you want me to call someone else in here to help me Bella?" He asked.

"Fine." I muttered.

"Thought so." He laughed. "You can change behind the screen over there." He said pointing to a white screen at the back of the room. I quickly got behind and took all my clothes of. I came out of behind the screen wearing my bra and under pants. Carlisle turned to look at me and gasped. "Get on the scales." He asked. I walked over to them and stood on it closing my eyes shut, not wanting to see how big the offensive number was. "Eighty seven." Carlisle gasped again. I'd put on three pounds in weight just to water. I smiled inwardly. I knew I would be able to trick him.

I knew I was overweight, otherwise Carlisle wouldn't be so shocked. He wouldn't want me to join his family if I was too fat.

"Come over here so I can get your height." He asked walking at a human pace to where a tape measure was done against a wall. I followed and put my back to the wall. "Stand up nice and straight" He ordered. I stood up with my back straight. "Five foot four." He mumbled noting it down. "Come over here." He asked all of a sudden standing in the middle of the room. I walked over to where he was standing. "Bend over, with your back straight and point your arms to the floor." He asked. "I'll need to check your spine alignment."

"What's my spine got to do with anything." I growled.

"Everything." He replied. "Now could you bend over."

I did as I was told and I bent over with my back straight and pointed my arms towards the floor. Carlisle ran his fingers up and down my spine and down my ribs, I could feel the water start to come up through my mouth. I ran over to the sink and let all the water come out. I turned to see Carlisle shaking his head disapprovingly at me.

You _idiot_ you thought you could hide it from Carlisle? Carlisle knew everything to know about medical history and science, and you still choose to make a fool out of yourself. How stupid do you get Bella?

"Get back on the scales." He asked. I trudged over to the scales and stood on them. "Eighty four." He spoke out loud then jotted it down on his piece of paper. "Go put your clothes back on, and go meet me in my office." He said leaving the room.

I walked back behind the screen and put all my clothes back on and looked at myself in the mirror, poking all the places where I still had pockets of fat. A knock came from the door. "Bella?" Edward's voice called. "Are you OK in there?"

"Yeah sure, one minute, I'm coming." I replied, exiting the room.

"I'll walk you to Carlisle's office." Edward smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. He walked me to Carlisle's office in silence and opened the door.

"Aren't you coming in with me too." I asked hopeful. Edward shook his head and sat in the seat outside.

I stepped into Carlisle's office frightened and closed the door shut behind me. "Please sit." Carlisle motioned to the chair in front of his desk, whilst going through some papers. I sat in the big comfy chair and slightly slumped into it. "I need you to answer some questions." He smiled picking up his pen slowly. "Do you think you can do that." He asked slowly.

"Sure." I muttered, angry at this slow pace.

"Do you think your fat?" He asked.

"No." I answered quickly.

"Elaborate on that."

"I know I am." I whispered looking at the floor. I could feel tears roll over my cheeks.

"Do you think your overweight?"

"No." I shook my head.

"You know you are?" He asked sarcastically. I nodded my head, whilst Carlisle wrote something down on his pad of paper. "When was the last time you had a proper meal?"He asked looking at me.

I thought back to when the last time was when I had a proper meal, then instantly regretted it. "The day before you left." I whispered.

"September?" Carlisle asked his voice full of astonishment and curiosity. "When was the last time you had your menstrual cycle?"

"I don't know." I sighed throwing my arms up in the air. "A few months ago? Ugh, what's the point with these questions." I growled at Carlisle.

"That's it Bella, I promise." He looked at me upset. "I'll need to speak to Charlie about this." He stated.

"Please don't." I begged whispering.

"Bella I have no choice. You should be in hospital, or better still a clinic for people like you to get professional help."

"I don't need help." I sighed. "I'm fine as I am." I crossed my arms across my chest stubbornly.

The door clicked open and shut. "I think you should do it Carlisle." Came a voice from behind me. I turned around and saw Edward standing behind my chair. "Eight months?" He whispered like he was questioning Carlisle's sanity.

"It's the only way we'll know for definite she's getting better son." Carlisle replied, getting up and placing a hand on Edward's shoulder. "I'll call the clinic in Seattle now, see if there's a place available for Bella. We can take her down there tomorrow first thing." Carlisle turned to face me. "Do you want me to tell Charlie about this or do you want to?"

I opened my mouth to speak, then abruptly shut it. I didn't want Charlie to find out. Never. Carlisle smiled at me warmly. "Maybe you should go round ours till you make up your mind. Give you some time."

"O.. K." I whispered.

Carlisle walked over to his phone and picked it up dialling a number too fast for me to see, and started to greet the person on the other side of the phone. "Come on Bella. We'll see Carlisle later." Edward spoke in my ear and walked out the door with me in tow.

We spent two hours at the Cullen's whilst Edward attempted to persuade me into going to the clinic after I vowed I wouldn't step foot in there. Edward drove me home with Esme after I made up my mind that I'd be the one to tell Charlie, and not Carlisle.

I walked into the house to find Charlie sitting at the kitchen table with stuff on it which I recognised instantly. "Bella. Come and take a seat." Charlie asked. I sat down in a chair opposite Charlie. Edward walked over to the table and started looking through the bags. "Edward do you mind leaving?" Charlie asked.

"Sorry Charlie, but I believe Bella has something important to tell you." He looked at Charlie sadly. "It explains this." He whispered the last part.

"Oh." Charlie barely mouthed to Edward then turned to me. "Well? Explain yourself." I sat in silence and began fidgeting with my jumpers drawstring. "Bella? Why did I find all this food hidden under your floor boards. As well as cigarettes and caffeine tablets as well as other various pills?"

"Charlie... I.." I shut my mouth. I didn't want to tell him. I looked at Edward shyly, and Charlie did too. "Edward, you." I whispered so only Edward would hear.

"Charlie, how much do you know about Anorexia nervosa?" Edward asked, pain marking itself in his facial features.

"Bella? What's he talking about?" Charlie asked.

"Maybe it would have been better if Carlisle or Esme told you Charlie, but what I'm trying to say is that Bella's been suffering from Anorexia."

"No I haven't." I chanted under my breathe so Charlie wouldn't be able to hear me.

I saw Edward glance at me from the corner of his eye, then start talking to Charlie. "My father's booked Bella in for a Eating disorder clinic in Seattle for tomorrow. He said the sooner Bella can go there the better for her and quicker she'll be allowed back." He continued. "They're really good, better then what some counsellor could do, and she'll be with other people who are going through the same thing as her."

"That's it, I'm not going!" I screamed, tears streaming down my cheeks again.

"Bella." Charlie and Edward sighed at the same time.

"It's what's right Bella." Edward murmured.

"Bells, you don't have to worry, you won't be alone and I'll visit you everyday if I have to." great just really great. Charlie was siding with _Edward. _Charlie was meant to loathe Edward, not agree to every word he was saying right now.

"I'm not going." I stated.

"Bells you need help." Charlie encouraged. I sighed loudly, and scowled at my father.

Now Charlie was against me. Need the list get any longer? Even the rest of the Cullen's had sided with Edward's and Carlisle's stupid pathetic useless idea.

I sighed deeply. "You can't make me go." I growled at them.

"Bella." Edward turned to face me and held my hands in his, rubbing circles in my hands with his thumb. "You are going to get help whether you like it or not. It's what's best for you." He looked into my eyes.

No. No way was he going to take this away from me. I've chosen to live this way, and I'm sticking to it, whether _he _likes it or not. Why would Edward betray me? He was meant to love me, wasn't he?

"What happened with I'll do anything you want me to do, Edward?" I growled at him, then I stood up, my face was probably bright red by now.

"Please Bella. If not for you, for me. And if not for me, for Charlie." Edward whispered softly.

"Isabella Marie Swan!" Charlie said firmly. "You are going to go to this eating disorder clinic, and I want no more arguments over it. Your going to do as your told young lady."

"Make me." I muttered.

"Bella, your sick." Edward whispered.

"Fine, I'll go if it'll make you lot happy." I said in a dull voice, with tears gushing down my face once again, for the third time today. I ran up the stairs, tripping on the top step and locked the door and curled up into a ball so Charlie couldn't get in if he tried to.

I spent five minutes on the floor crying, then got up and began packing a bag with clothes. If they wanted rid of me, all they had to do was ask. I'd go to the stupid clinic, but I wasn't going to listen to them, they didn't know anything.

The next morning Edward's Volvo was out the front, and when I came down the stairs in Edward's jumper I slept in, I caught Edward, Carlisle and Charlie sitting in the living room speaking quietly about me.

"Morning." I mumbled, still upset, to them and sat down next to Edward. Edward put an arm around me.

"We'll go as soon as your ready." He smiled.

I walked back upstairs savouring each and every last moment I had in this house. I'd miss it, and I knew I'd most likely never be coming back to live with Charlie. I dragged my bag to the top of the stairs and let it fall down to the bottom by itself, where it made a massive crashing sound.

"BELLA!" Charlie shouted.

"Sorry." I muttered walking down the stairs. Edward picked up my bag and walked with Carlisle and Charlie to the Police cruiser. Edward put it in the trunk and got in the back and Carlisle got in the front with Charlie. Edward sat in the back with me and hugged me whilst I cried into his lap.

The ride to Seattle was quiet and uneventful. I could see Edward's face twist uncomfortably and upset every time he looked at me. Charlie pulled up outside a big white building.

I got out of the car to stand next to Edward. Charlie and Carlisle carried walking on ahead of us my bag in Carlisle's hand, and went in the automatic doors.

"You ready?" Edward whispered, lacing his fingers through mine.

I nodded my head slightly, still hoping Edward would change his mind about sticking me in this place for eight months. We started walking slowly towards the big white building in front of us, my own personal hell.

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	6. Chapter 6

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT :)**

**Edward's Point Of View**

The lady behind the desk smiled at Bella and I as we walked in through the automatic doors. She got up holding a clip board and shook Bella's hand.

"Welcome, Isabella!" She smiled enthusiastically.

"Bella." I corrected, and rubbed Bella's back to calm her down.

"Bella." The lady smiled. "What a beautiful name." I could see Bella roll her eyes at the lady in the lady's thoughts, although what she had said to Bella was sincere and she meant it. "I'm Susan. I'm just going to call Dr. Louis so he can go over the paperwork with Mr. Swan, if you'd like to take a seat whilst I check if he's available."

I pulled Bella along to a row of chairs so she could sit down. Charlie and Carlisle both sat down in a chair, as did I. Bella stood up and waited till I was sitting down, then sat on my lap, throwing her arms around me. I could see that she had tears running down her face. I brushed them away with my fingers, but Bella just kept crying. I hated seeing Bella like this, it tore me apart.

"Edward, please don't do this to me." She sobbed into my neck.

I wrapped my arms around Bella and kissed her hair, hiding my face in her hair. "It's for your own good." I whispered to her, even though I knew Carlisle would still be able to hear it. "I'll visit, and call. Everyday." I promised. "I just want you to get better Bella."

"Don't go." She cried. "Don't leave me."

"I'm not leaving you, I'm going to visit." I kissed her again.

Bella broke down into a turmoil of gasps and weeps, and grabbed hold of me longer. "I love you. I love you. I love you." She cried into my chest. "Don't let them keep me here. _Please_." She begged.

Bella was starting to get to me, and break down my barrier I'd put up to stop her from getting to me and making me let her do as she pleased.

_Concentrate Edward, I've seen too many people die like this. She'll be just fine if you leave her here. Don't go back on your word Edward._ Carlisle thought sternly, then he went through his memories of past patients and humans he had seen suffer the same as Bella, but refused to get help for it.

I stayed determined Bella would stay, and I would come and get her when she was better. I had to save Bella from herself.

Susan came walking back into the room with a smile on her face with a man behind her. Who was dressed in the same coat as Carlisle and had dirty blonde hair that fell into his face. He obviously was long overdue for a hair cut, and it was slightly wavy at the ends.

Carlisle stood up with Charlie. Carlisle shook his hand first. "Dr. Carlisle." He grinned. "Long time no see, hey?"

"Indeed." Carlisle replied, then turned to Charlie. "This is Bella's dad, Charlie Swan."

"Ah. I'm Dr. Louis. Nice to meet you, would you and your daughter like to come into my office for a little chat?" He asked while shaking his hand.

"Sure. Come on Bells." Charlie turned waiting for Bella to get off my lap, his thoughts indicated that he wasn't very happy with the way Bella clung onto me.

"Bella." I whispered into her ear, taking my arms off her. "Go with Charlie and Dr. Louis. I'll wait here for when you come out." I promised.

"Promise me." She pulled back and looked me in the eye.

"I swear, I'll still be here waiting for you when you come out the office." I tried to smile but I knew I just couldn't at a time like this. It was too painful to pretend everything was just perfect at a time like this.

Bella stood up and walked over to Charlie. They both turned to face Dr. Louis and he led them into a little office. I sat back down with Carlisle who looked worried. "She'll be OK wont she Carlisle." I asked nervously.

"You know Bella. She'll be fine in no time at all. I'm positive about it." He replied acting the Dad again. I smiled sadly at him, then concentrated on Charlie's mind.

**Bella's Point Of View**

"Could you sign here, and here." Dr. Louis asked Charlie handing over a pen. Charlie scribbled the pen across the piece of paper quickly. "She'll be allowed fifteen minutes on the phone a day, and two visits a week. Visiting days are Monday and Saturday, from eight A.M to seven P.M." Lovely. Fifteen minutes to talk to Edward a day. Like my life could get any worse.

"Your define she'll get better, right?" Charlie asked his forehead creasing.

"If Bella is willing to cooperate, and the quicker she does that, the faster she can go home." He smiled at me. I cringed and dug my nails into the chair, scratching it quietly in discomfort. "Bella will always have someone to talk to whilst she's here. She'll be given her timetable shortly after she's settled in later on. Since your family you can call her whenever you want Mr. Swan, it just has to be run through someone at the reception first."

"Sure." Charlie replied sadly, placing the pen down gently.

"Is there anything about Bella that we may need to know?" He asked. "Sleeping arrangements? Allergies?"

"Not that I know of." Charlie replied then looked at me. "Is there any Bells?"

"No." I whispered, and as soon as I caught Charlie's eyes I gave him a begging glance, hoping he'd let me stay at home with him. I didn't like it here already.

"Well, I hope you enjoy your stay here Bella." Dr. Louis smiled. I looked at my feet and twitched them uncomfortably. " I'll get Susan to escort you to where you'll be sleeping so you can unpack and settle in." He stood up shaking Charlie's hand then opened the door for us.

We both exited the room and Susan came up to us. "Could I quickly check through your bag dear." She asked kindly.

"Sure sure." I muttered. I knew she'd do it anyway.

She opened up my suit case and pulled out items of clothing, and my toiletries bag, but found nothing. Satisfied she put my stuff back in the bag and began carrying it to the stairs. " Bella, I'll show you to where you'll be staying. Say bye to your Dad for now." She smiled.

I ignored my dad and ran up to Edward, jumping on him and wrapping my arms and legs around him. "I love you." I whispered into his ear. "Please don't make me stay." I begged, crying again.

"Bella, I have no choice." He replied putting me on the floor and kissing me chastely on the lips and brushing my hair back. "I'll see you when I'm allowed to visit."

I leant up to his ear. "You aren't going to sneak through the window or anything?" I whispered in aghast.

He shook his head. "Bars on the windows Bella, and your sharing your room, it'll be impossible. But I'll be waiting for you, always." He whispered in my ear.

I wrapped my arms around him tightly in one last attempt and leaned my head on his chest. "Please don't make me stay here Edward."

"I'm sorry." His voice stuttered and his voice began to crack.

I let go off him and put my mouth to his ear. "I _hate _you." I hissed. I instantly regretted it as soon as it came out. I turned around and stormed off following Susan. I quickly looked back at Edward to see him looking abashed, and Charlie looking shocked. He had probably just heard what I'd just sneered at Edward, and Carlisle looked like he had expected it from me, as if it was normal behaviour. I turned around and continued up the steps. And I knew, that I wouldn't be able to be normal again, until I could tell Edward how sorry I was for my snide remark.

**Edward's Point Of View**

Bella turned the corner up the stairs, turning her head away from me, I could still see the tears welling up in her eyes and spilling over once again. I restrained myself from running over to her and kissing her tears away, then running away with her so she wouldn't have to be kept away from me. I had to remind myself that Bella was here for her own sake, running away with her would be selfish, and I wanted nothing more than Bella to be smiling again, all better again, like before I left her last September. I internally winced at the memory, I'd thought I was doing the right thing for Bella, but I wasn't. I'd managed to destroy her life. Everything I touched turned bad.

I cold hand was placed on my shoulder. "Son, we have to go." Carlisle spoke from behind me. _She'll be just fine. You know she didn't mean it. She doesn't know what she's talking about Edward, anorexics say things like that all the time, I've heard it all before._ He thought. "Edward." Carlisle spoke aloud to empathize he was talking to me, the way parents normally do to their kids when they know they haven't heard a word they've said to them.

"O.... K." I managed to whisper. My voice sounded hoarse. At the sound of it I sort of felt sorry for myself.

Charlie appeared physically fine, but mentally he was breaking down at having to see Bella go. That made two of us, although my usual perfect façade was long gone. I don't think I could even try to _pretend_ that everything was going perfectly normal.

I could see Charlie start to make his way to his Police cruiser, and Carlisle debate whether to leave me or go and wait in the car.

"Go." I whispered. "I'll be there in a minute." Carlisle nodded his head briefly at me, then turned to go and wait with Charlie. I walked up to the lady behind the desk. "Hello." I smiled, and I knew I still looked distraught. "Could you please give this to Bella?" I asked Susan.

"Sure." She replied. "Stick it in here and write her name on it so I'll remember."  
I smiled weakly at her and put the mp3 player in the envelope and wrote Bella's name on it, I quickly flipped open the envelope before I sealed it and wrote underneath the opening. 'I love you'. Then licked a finger and ran it along the sticky part and sealed the envelope.

"Thanks." I smiled placing the package on her desk and walking out of the horrid white building...

"Do you want me to drop you off at school Edward?" Charlie asked as soon as we where five minutes from his house.

"No thank you Charlie. I left my car at yours, if you wouldn't mind dropping Carlisle and I off there, then I could drop him off at the hospital on my way home." I replied.

"So your not going to school then?" Charlie questioned looking at me in his mirror.

"No."

"Why not." He questioned as if it was a life or death matter.

"I don't know." I shrugged. "I' think I'd just like to spend some time with Esme I guess." I answered simply.

"She'll like that." Carlisle joined in, a smile playing across his lips.

I smiled at him. If anything could make me feel any better right now, it would be my Mother's love.

Charlie pulled up outside his house, and I quickly said my farewell as did Carlisle, and we both got into my Volvo.

_Edward, honestly stop beating yourself up about it._

"It's what I deserve." I croaked.

_It was the right thing to do. I'm certain, and you know it was too, you was in on this as well Edward. She needs a place where she can go to for help, where people who understand what she's going through, she needs support, Edward. You blaming yourself isn't going to help her get any better, and most importantly, she needs you to be able to depend on. You can drop me off here._

I pulled the car over and waited for Carlisle to get out so I could go and see Esme. "Don't beat yourself up too much."

I rolled my eyes at him. Carlisle closed the door quietly and walked off in a proud stride towards the hospitals front doors. I turned my car back around and headed to the confines of my home. As I shut the car door I could see Esme at the entrance of the garage looking at me with her mother face on, holding her arms out for me. I walked up to her and hugged her. She grabbed me into a big motherly hug.

"How did you know when I'd be back?" I asked her.

_Alice._

"Is she here?" I asked trying to listen to Alice's thoughts.

_No, went to school. Walked to school at a slow human pace as well._

I instantly felt guilty for leaving Alice without a car she could use without looking ostentatious. She hated going at a human pace as much as I did. "Did she see anything?" I wondered, maybe she'd seen some good news that concerned Bella?

_no._ She thought shaking her head and letting go.

I sighed heavily and walked into the kitchen and jumped over the couch and slumped onto it. I'd join Alice at school, but I really wasn't in the mood to do anything without my Bella.

My phone vibrated in my back pocket. I quickly flicked it out and read the text message from Alice. 'D_on't be such a boring prude Edward, get your back side to school, you know how petty humans can be with gossip and rumours. Stop sulking. Alice.'_ I rolled my eyes at the text and replied back to her.

'_Sorry, too busy wallowing in my guilt to care.' _I chuckled to myself at the sarcasm and could imagine Alice reading it doing an impersonation of my sarcastic voice. I sent it to her and flicked on the television watching some show I wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to.

My phone buzzed again and I read the text from Alice. '_At least your driving me home, I don't think I could take walking home at a human pace._' Typical, Alice was always living in the future, never the presence.

I spent the rest of the day staring aimlessly at the television screen, then got up and drove to the school to pick up Alice a good ten minutes early. I stuck one of Bella's favourite CD's into the stereo of my Volvo and began tapping on the steering wheel to the beat, totally loosing myself.

Someone knocked on the car of my window bringing me out of my reverie. I rolled down my car window to glare at the unwelcome girl on the other side of the glass.  
"Hey, Edward." Jessica spoke to me, trying to sound coquette. Mmmm, hell he's hot. She thought.

"Hello." I said smiling at her the way people do when they want someone to go away, I wasn't in the mood for Jessica Stanley and her flirting. I wasn't in the mood for anyone. I was in the right frame of mind of driving off, then remembered Alice would have to walk home at a human pace, and guilt washed over me.

"Why weren't you and Bella in school today?" She asked, acting like she was genuinely curious, of course she _was_ curious, but only for the reason for something to share with people like Lauren Mallory. _Hope they've had some massive row or something dramatic, and Bella's too cut up about it to leave her room._

"Drove Bella to the airport." I lied. "She's gone to visit her Mom in Florida for a while." I finished. _A while._ I flinched at the word. It wasn't a while. It was eight whole months for crying out loud! I couldn't stay away from Bella for that long, only with a fifteen minute phone call and two visits a week. How absurd!

"How longs a while?" She smiled winking at me and licking her bottom lip. I winced, then shivered at her. For two reasons. One, Jessica got on my nerves, couldn't she understand I wasn't interested in girls like her, who made people feel low for their own sense of security. Two, the question would of made me throw up if I were human or able to, thinking about how long it would be till I saw Bella out of that place made me want to beat myself up physically.

"I don't know." I replied, whispering. I rolled the window up and buried my face in the steering wheel.

_How rude?! Oh well, as if that would really matter, except for being weird, he's completely flawless and perfect for me._ She began to walk of to her car whilst dreaming fantasies about me and _her_, doing all the things I'd like, scratch that, _love_, to do to Bella.

I groaned and the passenger door swung open and Alice jumped inside.

"Took your time." I mumbled reversing out the parking lot and into the queue to leave this hell hole.

"Patience is a virtue my dear friend." Alice laughed, trying to lift up my spirits.

"Thanks, but I really doubt it's going to work."

_Bet I can make you happy by the end of today, Edward._

"No way."

She pouted at me. _Want to bet?_ She grinned mentally and externally, then began to think of ways to make me smile.

"Without cheating and forcing Jasper to do as his wife tells him too." I laughed.

"YOU LAUGHED, I WIN!" Alice shouted practically jumping in her seat. Her eyes glazed over and was sent into a vision of the future, that included Charlie attempting to cook a piece of fish, but it turning out to look far less appetizing than it should, that no sane human or living being would consider eating. Alice came out of the future and started laughing. "I'm sure Esme will enjoy cooking for Charlie." She beamed.

"As if you don't already know." I muttered rolling my eyes.

_Spoilt sport._ She teased mentally.

I laughed and pulled up into the garage.

"Stop being so glum, Edward." Alice smiled. "You'll see Bella soon enough, trust me." She said tapping the side of her head.

"What? Why?" I questioned, but Alice had already blocked me out of her mind by rehearsing every fashion designer and clothes brand.

Helpful! I thought sarcastically to myself, taking up the same position on the couch as earlier. Roughly an hour and a half later the smell of disgusting human food came wafting in from the kitchen. _Eww._ Rosalie thought, fleeing up the stairs to get away from the smell, not wanting to get the horrid smell embedded in her hair.

"How melodramatic." I muttered.

Jasper and Emmett laughed, and Rosalie hissed from upstairs. I laughed along with them.

"Edward!" Esme called.

"Yes Mom." I grinned, appearing in the kitchen beside the units. Esme smiled at the word Mom and handed me a container.

"Go give this to Charlie. Alice told me he'd need feeding... what with Bella away.." She started happily, then got all quiet and began mumbling.

"Do I have to?" I whispered, playing with my zip. "I.. don't think I want to go inside the house. It'd feel.. you know, weird?"

"Edward, you can't keep running away from problems, you need to face them, head first." She reassured me, forcing the box into my hands.

"Fine." I grumbled turning towards the door where Alice stood, grinning from ear to ear.

_I'll come with!_ She sung mentally in a happy chirpy way, that made me want to cringe.

"Fine." I grumbled at Alice and raced her to the Volvo in the garage to go deliver Charlie his dinner. We sat in the car in complete silence, well at least I did. I listened to Alice's thoughts whilst she thought about getting Bella new attire that fit her properly, thinking of dresses that wouldn't make her condition look that bad, but what ever Alice imagined her in, Bella always looked so frail and weak.

**RATE AND REVIEW. :D**

_A/N you know what I'd like to see? AS WELL AS REVIEWS ;)_

_more anorexia/bulimia stories._

_I think its better for people that are suffering from it,_

_when people can begin to understand them._

_I PROMISE THIS WONT END BADLY._

_AND I PROMISE ILL WRITE LOADS MORE, ENOUGH THAT YOU'LL PROBABLY GET BORED OF IT._

_If you can, try checking out my other stories, I know I haven't updated 'The After Dawn' in a while, but I'm too wound up writing future chapters and stories. Especially for this story, I've just started Chapter 10. :)_

_love sach x_


	7. Chapter 7

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT :)**

**Bella's Point Of View**

I lay in my bed with my sheets huddled up around me, trying to find some sort of comfort within them. The kind of comfort I had when I slept with Edward, but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't. I watched the nurse shake the other girls gently awake in my room, realising I was already awake, she smiled at me comfortingly.

"Didn't you get any sleep last night dear?" She asked still trying to wake up the girl sleeping in the bed next to me.

"No." I replied hoarsely, my throat thick from crying so much last night.

"You'll sleep better tonight dear, if you don't I can always get Dr. Louis to prescribe you some sleeping pills." She smiled, still being over friendly.

I returned the smile, not wanting to seem rude. "Thanks." I replied. I'd need more than just sleeping pills, I'd need to be dosed up with anti-depressants too if I was expected to stay here for eight months, hardly ever getting to see Edward.

"Make your way to the showers dear, and then we'll do an inspection and then I'll send you all down for breakfast." She smiled.

Wasn't there anything else she'd rather do then talk to people who clearly didn't want to be here, and smile all day about it? What had they drugged her up on? I mused to myself.

I made my way to the showers and spent a good twenty minutes just standing there in the heat of the shower, before walking back to the dormitory and changing.

"Hey, I never got to talk to you yesterday." Said a girl looking hopeful, she had brown hair that was cut into a neat bob, that complimented her face well, with green y blue eyes. "I'm Emma." She grinned enthusiastically, she seemed nice enough.

"Bella." I said returning the smile back. I pulled out a pair of jogging bottoms and started putting them on.

"I wouldn't bother getting dressed just yet if I was you." She advised, pulling on a nightgown. "They'll just make you strip down to your pants again for the inspection." Inspection? I could feel my eyebrows knit together in confusion. Emma laughed at my expression. "They check us every morning for cuts, bruises, scratches." She laughed. "There's no point, they never usually find anyone who self harms themselves."

Just then the nurse walked back in. I stayed in my underpants and bra like Emma had advised and pulled on my dressing gown I'd never normally use. She called us all to her office individually, and when another girl came back, they'd send another that the nurse had wished to see.

Emma came walking back in and hugged me. "Your next, good luck."

I walked nervously to the office and opened the door slowly and clicked it shut behind. "Just take your gown off where you are Bella." She ordered.

I didn't want her to see my body, it was mine to look at, not hers. I instinctively pulled the robe around me tighter. "No." I whispered.

"We can either do this the easy way or the hard way." She stared at me, her gaze looked as though she was determined for me to let go of my robe and let her inspect _my_ body.

"Try me." I growled angrily.

"Why won't you show me Bella?" She asked.

"Why should I. It's my body, not yours." I sneered at her, my voice growing louder and higher. She wrote down something on her piece of paper, all whilst shaking her head sadly. "Fat bitch." I cursed her, thinking it was quiet, but she looked up at me through her glasses and wrote more down. I left the room before I would totally end up loosing it with her.

I walked back across the hallway and into the dormitory. "How did it go Bella?" Emma asked, smiling. I ignored her and pulled on a pair of navy joggers and one of Edward's jumpers that he'd lent me. "You didn't let her check you did you?" I shook my head and sat down on the bed, I could feel my eyes start to water. I didn't know what was going to happen to me because of that, the worst thing was not knowing what was going to happen to you. Like one minute being told your going to live, and the next your going to die. "Oh, Bella!" Emma sat down next to me and put an arm around me. "You really shouldn't of done that. You'll be put down on the self harmer list, if you think you've already had it tough. Just wait." She sighed. "What perfume are you wearing, it smells great, better than any I've ever smelt before." She said whilst sniffing my jumper.

"I'm not wearing any perfume." I answered honestly, then when she went to sniff my jumper again, it all clicked together. "You mean the smell of this jumper? It's not mine." I brought my arm covered in Edward's jumper to my nose and sniffed it. It without a doubt still smelt strongly of Edward. I grinned.

"I could smell that all day." Emma commented. "Here, Jen, come smell Bella's jumper!" She called to another girl on the other side of the room, who was quietly reading a book.

She came over and sniffed the jumper, looking as if she felt silly, then relaxed after she'd smelt it. "That smells so good! What washing powder do you use Bella?"

"I haven't washed it since I was given it of my boyfriend." I admitted. "I like the smell." I blushed.

"If he smells that good I bet he's good enough to eat!" Emma laughed.

How ironic? I laughed out loud too, but at my own joke.

The nurse came into the room then. "Breakfast, girls." She called happily whilst ushering everyone out of the room. I walked unwillingly down the stairs and sat in a chair with my arms crossed across my chest whilst a bowl of porridge sat in front of me with a spoon.

"I feel like Oliver Twist." I muttered under my breathe to Emma.

Emma laughed and began eating very slowly, as did the other people at the table did. The table included nine girls, excluding me, and one boy who all ate their breakfast as soon as the nurse sent a glare their way.

She strode over to me and forced the spoon in my hand. I let go of it as soon she took her fat sweaty hand of mine and it clattered onto the wooden table. I refolded my arms across my chest and stared disgusted at the dirty filth they called food. That stuff would never make its way anywhere near my mouth.

"Eat." She ordered.

"Make me." I threatened.

She picked up my spoon and piled some of the disgusting slime onto it, and brought it to my mouth. I leaned back into my chair as far away from it I could get. One little slip up and I would have ruined everything I'd gained.

"I can wait all day Bella."

"So can I."

"Your not helping your condition Bella."

"I don't have one. Your over reacting."

"And not eating isn't over reacting?" She tried. She had me there.

"There are people starving in Africa. Send it to them." I muttered pushing her hand away uselessly.

"Just eat it." She moved the spoon closer in front of my face. I swallowed hard on my spit. I realised now that everyone had stopped eating and where watching me. To see whether or not I was going to eat it. I looked up at the nurse, pleading with my eyes, and attempted to do it a little like Alice did when she wanted her own way. She dumped the spoon back into the bowl and went back to sitting at the head of the table.

I sighed in relief and relaxed a little. I lifted up my glass of water. The nurse looked hopeful. I took a tiny sip I could manage, and placed the glass back down on the table. Her face completely dropped, she lifted up her clipboard and wrote something down.

What was it with people and their clipboards? Writing notes after everything I do... writing notes about me.

I stood up angrily and left the room, slamming the door closed. I walked down the hallway and opened a store room door and locked myself in there, crying. This was going to be a very long day.

**Edward's Point Of View**

Alice insisted upon us _both_ making an appearance and going into school today. So I did as I was told, I didn't want to be annoyed with Alice's annoying rubbish, even though I knew she was only trying to help me take my minds of things and help.

I spent my lessons absent mindedly doodling, something I never did. But Bella did, quite a bit when she had nothing better to do. At lunch Alice sat at our usual lunch table where we would normally sit with Bella, whilst flicking through a clothes magazine, holding up the page to her face closely to see every little detail of it. Even with vampire eye sight she shouldn't have to do that, but Alice being Alice, you never knew what she had up her sleeves.

"Where's Bella Edward?" Angela asked.

"She's.."

"Gone to go see her Mom, right Edward?" Jessica butted in.

"Yeah." I muttered, placing my head in my hands.

_You would think he'd be happy without Bella, he's worse than Bella was without him. Can't he live a little whilst that scrawny boyfriend stealing cow is away?_ Jessica thought. I rolled my eyes and clutched my fists together.

"So when is Bella coming back Alice?" Angela asked curious.

"We don't know yet." She sighed.

"Oh." She closed the conversation.

The bell rung and everyone left to go to their next lesson. Both Alice and I got up at the same time and dumped our uneaten food in the bin. Alice glared at me.

"I know what your going to do." She growled. "Your not leaving without me, I'm not staying at school."

"Fine, you can come but I don't know where I'm even going yet." I mumbled.

_Is it really that hard? Who do you miss right now? Where would you go to sulk and remember her?_

"Her house." I muttered rolling my eyes. "You begin to sound more and more like a .. ."

"Psychiatrist, I know." She grinned. "I might not be your biological sister Edward, but I'm close enough, and I'm close enough to you to understand how you feel." She sighed. "I can relate to you, Edward."

"No, you can't." I growled at her, now standing in the foyer on campus.

"I love Bella too, remember that."

I sighed and walked to my Volvo. "No one will love anyone as much as I love Bella, Alice." I whispered.

_I know. Everyone knows Edward, but you can't keep being miserable, she'll be back at the end of the week._

"End of the week?" I asked looking up at her.

Alice rolled her eyes. _Just you see, Edward._

I huffed then began driving to Bella's house. I climbed up the trees with Alice behind me and climbed into Bella's Bedroom window. I sat on her bed, and breathed in her scent, a small smile appearing on my face.

The phone downstairs began to ring. I looked at Alice. _Go answer it. Charlie's not home. It's Bella, she'll be disappointed if no one is there to answer it._

I ran downstairs and picked up the phone. "Bella." I breathed down the phone, sighing happily.

"Edward?" She asked confused. "What are you doing at Charlie's?"

**Bella's Point Of View**

"What are you doing at Charlie's?"

"I missed you." His voice trembled. "I hope you don't mind Bella. I know it was wrong to go in your room without your permission and everything, and I know you have the right to be angry with me... … .. .. But I missed you Bella." His voice trembled as if he was going to start crying.

A tear rolled down my eye, followed by a few more. I slid down the down I was leaning against and put my knees up against my chest whilst I held the phone. "I miss you too." I sobbed down the phone.

"Bella, don't cry, love." He chanted. "Don't cry, its all my fault. I'm so sorry."

"I think I deserved it Edward." I stated plainly down the phone. "But this place is like hell."

"How bad is it?" He whispered.

I began crying hysterically down the phone, I didn't even want to start to tell him how bad it was here. I spent five minutes crying, then sniffed a few times. "Edward, bring me home, please." I sobbed to him.

"Bella, I don't know if I can." He started.

"Please Edward, it's all I'm asking, I'll do anything, please Edward, please."

"I'll see what I can do sweetheart." He said into the phone.

I hung up on him, and began to crumble without his voice there, speaking to me, crawling into a ball, tucking my head in. Then everything turned black...

**RATE AND REVIEW, lovely. ;)**


	8. Chapter 8

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT :)**

**Bella's Point Of View**

"Isabella." Came an irritating voice.

"It's Bella." I growled, turning back into my pillow, not wanting to wake up and realise I was still in the same hell hole.

"Bella then." The female voice sighed. "You have to get up and ready before five thirty, you have a visitor coming soon."

"Great." I mumbled. Couldn't whoever it was be a little considerate. I wanted my bloody sleep. "They can wait." I groaned, pulling the blanket further over my head.

"Bella, if you don't get up now, you won't be seeing this young lad." She said sternly.

I shot up straight. "Lad?" I smiled, that was an understatement. "You mean Edward?" I grinned even wider, and began to get ready as fast as possible.

"Calm down." She laughed walking back out the room.

I shoved my clothes back into my suitcase. Edward was coming to rescue me. I smiled even wider, and now I could tell him how sorry I was for the last time we spoke in person. I dragged my bag down the stairs and sat on it, awaiting Edward's arrival.

"Something to eat?" The nurse came up to me, holding out a banana. I growled at her, and she backed away, placing the banana next to the suitcase.

Probably in an attempt to fatten me up, to ruin my life. I picked up the wretched thing and held it at arms length, scowling at it. I walked over to the trash can like that, scowling at the disgusting thing in my hand, and dropped it into the bin. A sigh came from the entrance. I turned around to glare at whoever was being absurdly rude over a banana that was teasing me. I caught Edward and Esme standing at the entrance. "Edward!" I shrieked happily. I smiled widely, and ran up to him, jumping up and wrapping my arms and legs around him, like a little child would, and began kissing his face all over. "I'm so sorry, I love you Edward." I whispered my apology in his ear, and began kissing him all over again. Edward wrapped his arms around me and leaned in for a kiss which we both shared for an immeasurable moment, as I become slightly light headed. I unhooked my legs from around his body and leaned into his chest, still hugging him. "I love you so much." I cried. "I missed you so much."

Edward rested his cheek on the top of my head. "You don't know how lethargic I've felt without you." He whispered into my ear. I smiled. "Esme's come to get you out. It doesn't mean your going to be left alone now. I'll be keeping a close eye on you." He said whilst pulling me away, still keeping his hands on my shoulders to look me in the eye. I stared at his chest. "Correction." He muttered. "_Everyone_ will be keeping a close eye on you. If your not going to stay here, your going to have to cooperate with us. Is that understood Bella?"

I nodded my head, still not meeting his eyes. "Anything is better then here." I muttered.

Edward chuckled. "From the thoughts of everyone, you've been rather difficult and stubborn. Am I not correct?" I could feel his eyes burn into my face.

I kept a straight face. "Can we just go already?" I asked.

"I'll take your bag to the car. Wait with Esme." He ordered, picking up my bag and walking back outside at a human pace.

I walked over to Esme, where she pulled me into a hug. "Edward's missed you so much dear." She commented. "He's been worried too."

I looked down at the floor. They where beginning to hate me. Not if I could help it. Maybe if I lost a little more weight, they'd think I was worthy of belonging to them.

"I've got to go pick up a letter for your Dad of the clinic's doctor, you can go with Edward and wait in the car if you want dear." Esme said motherly.

"Sure." I said giving her half a smile and walked out the automatic doors to where Edward was leaning his forehead into the car as if he was upset. And he was. He had every right to be upset. Having to love a pathetic ugly fat human like myself. I sighed to myself. I'd just have to improve myself, for Edward's sake.

I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. "I'm sorry." Edward sighed. "This is all my fault."

"There's nothing to be sorry for." I said, pressing my face into his back.

"Look what I've done to you Bella. Everything I touch crumbles to pieces, and look at you. Your wasting away, all because of me, because I was stupid enough to think it was the right choice to leave you. I'll never be able to forgive myself for what I've done to you Bella. I'm sorry." He spoke angrily.

"Your so masochistic." I mumbled, "I needed to wake up and smell the coffee, Edward. Even though it hurt." I winced at the last comment. "But it doesn't matter, your here now." I said kissing his back.

"Lets get you in the car." Edward said breaking the silence. Edward walked over to the back door and opened it for me. I got in, and Edward slipped in after me. I yawned. Edward chuckled. "Get some sleep, love." He said stroking my hair whilst I lay my head in his lap and tucked my legs up to myself next to him. My eyes fluttered closed, and Edward began to sing my lullaby....

I woke up on Charlie's couch with the sound of speaking coming from somewhere in the kitchen. Before I got up to see who it was, I decided to listen in.

"We'll have no choice but to put her in hospital if she continues like this Charlie. I'm pretty sure her body has, or will begin breaking down her heart muscle in the next few days. She'll have no way to survive unless we do something drastic about it soon." I heard two chairs scrape along the kitchen floor as if they where getting up. "If anything happens to her at all Charlie, call me straight away."

"I wish there was something I could do, Carlisle. I should of noticed earlier.

"People like that are very good at hiding it Charlie. Don't blame yourself. Edward's pretty cut up about it too. The clinic said she could only be able to stay if she was willing to get better."

""I'll keep an extra close eye on her from now on Carlisle. Thank you for your time." Charlie said.

"No problem, Bella's practically family. If anything happens to Bella... we'd loose Edward." Carlisle spoke the last bit softly.

I could hear footsteps lead towards the front door. I pulled the blanket that was placed on me, over my head. "Bastard." I grumbled, I wouldn't die. There was enough fat on me to last a couple of years. I could hear a cough from next door, then Carlisle and Charlie say their goodbyes and the door opening and closing.

"Bella?" Charlie said walking into the front room, and went to sit on the one seater, watching me. "Carlisle's coming over later in the evening to talk to you, and me."  
I groaned. "What for?"

"About your options, Bella." He sighed, and shook his head. "What am I going to do with you." He spoke to himself, rhetorically.

"Throw me out." I said as plainly as I could. No one wanted me. I knew that.

"You know what I mean Bella." Charlie sighed. "I'll call for your Mother to come down from Florida." I glared at him. "It'd be so much easier if you would leave to stay with her. You'd listen to Renee, I know you."

"You don't know _anything_, Charlie." I growled.

"And you know any better Bella?" He said sadly, his eyes glazing over with tears. "Your sick. I don't like seeing you like this. I just want the old Bella back, before all this nonsense started." I looked away, abashed. Charlie hated me too. Charlie got up of the one seater, and walked out the room. "Come here Bella." He called from the kitchen. I walked in and sat down on one of the three chairs. He sat down opposite with a determined face on. "Eat something." He ordered."Prove me wrong, Bells."

I got up of my chair and walked over to the fridge, and opened the vegetable compartment. I grinned briefly so Charlie couldn't see. Celery was a safe food. I broke off a stalk and rinsed it under the tap. I got out the chopping board and cut it up into little pieces and put them in a bowl, threw the knife and chopping board into the sink for cleaning, and started the taps again, trying to put off eating. "Just eat Bella." Charlie said from the table.

I turned the tap of and took the bowl of celery with me, placing the bowl on the table slowly. Charlie watched me intently. "You know, it'd be easier for me to eat without you staring like that." I commented, picking up a piece of celery.

"Sorry." Charlie looked away, out the window, I bit the celery, making a loud crunching noise. I could see Charlie smile as he gazed out the window. He got up and walked over to the sink to look out the window. As long as Charlie looked out the window, I'd be fine. I took the piece of celery out of my mouth, and stuffed it in my knickers. I took another bite of the celery, and proceeded with my newly found trick. After I'd finished stuffing the last piece of celery down my knickers, I pushed the bowl away.

"Finished." I said leaning back in my chair, as if I'd eaten a massive meal.

Charlie turned around with a genuine smile on his face. "Well done baby." He said, taking the bowl, and decided to do the dishes. The first time I'd seen him do it since I came to Forks for my summer holidays. I got up and walked carefully up the stairs so the celery wouldn't fall out from my knickers. "Bella, stay downstairs for a while. I don't want you doing anything you shouldn't be." Charlie called out to me.

"OK Dad." I said, going back into the front room, and sitting on the covers someone had put down for me. I could feel the bits of celery dig into me uncomfortably. I unzipped one of the cushions, and quickly shoved all the pieces of bitten celery into it, and put it behind my back so Charlie wouldn't for some reason decide he specifically wanted the cushion to sit on.

Charlie came into the front room and sat down next to me. "Thank you." He said simply, and switched on the flat screen, changing the channel to something we both didn't like.

"Aren't you going to work?" I asked him, turning to face him.

"I didn't want to leave you alone today." He said. I scrunched my forehead up. "Unless you want to come with me?" He asked.

"Please. I can't stand staying indoors." I replied.

"Get ready then." He said, I got up and made my way to go out the door. "Leave the bathroom door open." He said.

I rolled my eyes. "Sure sure." I muttered.

Charlie and I spent the rest of the day sitting in the station. Charlie finished off his paperwork, there was only about three pages there, which took all of two minutes, he then went into his draw and brought out a packet of battered cards. I played Charlie four games, and watched as he played his colleagues, which was rather amusing. They all continued to play until it was six o'clock and Charlie dismissed himself from work.

"Thanks Dad." I said as we drove back home in Charlie's Police cruiser.

"No problem." He replied keeping his eyes on the road. "It was nice to spend some time with you."

"Yeah, no wonder there's no trouble with people in Forks." I commented. "The criminals must be scared stiff when they see you lot playing cards all day."

Charlie laughed as we pulled up to the house. Charlie unlocked the front door, just as a familiar silver Volvo pulled up outside the house. I groaned. "Bella." Charlie said waiting for me to look him in the eyes, I looked into his eyes. "Don't make this any more difficult than it has to be."

"Sure sure." I said rolling my eyes.

Edward and Carlisle both stepped out of the car and walked up the porch. "Charlie." Carlisle greeted Charlie, nodding his head slightly. "Bella." He turned to face me and smiled.

"Come in." Charlie said opening the door.

I grabbed Edward's hand and pulled him into the front room behind Charlie and Carlisle. I sat on Edward's lap in the one seater, cuddling up to Edward, wrapping my arm around his waist and leaning my head into the crook of his neck, much to Charlie's disgust, whilst Charlie and Carlisle sat on the couch, facing us. More accurately, me.

"How do you feel Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"Perfect." I fake smiled at him.

"Any headaches, dizziness, cramps?"

"No." I lied. Carlisle narrowed his eyes at me, seeing right through my lie.

"Have you eaten today?" He asked.

"Yeah." I lied again, to which Carlisle's turned to face Charlie.

"Did she eat?" He asked.

"Yes." Charlie replied.

"What was it?"

"Celery."

"Celery?" Carlisle sounded disappointed. "How much?"

"I think it was one stalk." He replied. I felt guilty, for Charlie believing me. But a part of me wanted to keep on doing this to him. Keep tricking him into thinking I was eating. To get him of my case. I wasn't about to loose everything I'd gained for him.

Carlisle turned to face me. "You do realise you need to be taking in far more calories then a piece of celery provides you with." I glared at him. "I know you had a difficult time at the clinic Bella, being away, but you need to understand you have to get better." He paused as if he was expecting me to reply. He sighed. "If you continue like this you'll end up in hospital hooked up to an IV, and I know you wouldn't want that, do you?" I shook my head, probably looking like a little kid. "So your going to have to cooperate, Bella. I need you to choose what you want to do." I stared at him blankly. What was I going to do? Get fat? For his sake? HAH. Don't make me laugh.

"I'll give you the option, Bella." He said looking me straight in the eye. "You can either go to another clinic in New York, where Edward can stay with you, or you can stay here, willingly get better, and see someone about it."

I liked the first option, staying with Edward. But I couldn't stand having to stay at a clinic, they treated you as if you where some special needs case. I clenched and unclenched my hands together. If I stayed here, everyone would find out about it, and I especially didn't want that to happen, for people to talk about me behind my back.

"Bella?" This time it wasn't Carlisle or Charlie speaking. It was Edward. He brushed some of my hair behind my ear. "What do you want to do love?"

I could feel tears begin to run down my face. "Neither." I sobbed, turning to hide my face into Edward's chest. "I don't want people speaking about me behind my back."

I could feel Edward's hold on me tighten, and one hand began to rub my back gently. "Shhh Bella, we just want what's best for you." He murmured into my ear.

"If... .. you knew . ….. .. what was.... … ….... best for me." I sobbed. "You wouldn't... …. .. … make … .. me... do this."

"Bella your sick." Edward sighed.

"I'm not. I'm perfectly fine Edward." I sobbed.

"Then tell me why your doing this to yourself." He asked.

I paused. What was I supposed to say. "Its none of your business." I muttered, not coming up with a good enough excuse. I couldn't tell him I was fat. He'd notice just how fat I really was, and leave me all over again. "Why do you even care?" I growled, angry with him, but hugged him tighter.

"Because I love you Bella." Edward spoke as if I was the stupidest person on Earth.

"Bullshit." I muttered, crying.

I could feel Edward lean closer to my ear. "If it was, Bella, would I really be here?" He whispered into my ear.

"Bella." Carlisle spoke to me, clearing his throat. I'm sure vampires didn't have to do that, at all. I'd completely forgotten his and Charlie's presence. "You don't have to rush things, you can take it step by step. Just start by seeing a therapist and eating more each day, nothing major."

"Fine. No therapist though." I said through clenched teeth, glaring at both Charlie and Carlisle.

"At least the counsellor at school, Bella." Carlisle tried reasoning with me. I shook my head. "I think it will help."

"NO." I shouted at him. Carlisle and Charlie both flinched back from my outburst. "I'm going to bed." I announced. It was seven thirty, I should be able to get a good twelve hour sleep, and burn off a load of calories.

"Have you had dinner yet?" Carlisle asked.

"Yeah."

"No, Bella go eat something." Charlie ordered.

They where all ganging up on me. Ridiculous. I shot Charlie the look of death and walked into the kitchen, grabbing another stalk of celery, rinsing it and cutting it up into tiny pieces. When I turned around I noticed, Edward Charlie and Carlisle had all made their way into the kitchen to watch me eat. I had no choice if all three of them where going to be watching me...

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	9. Chapter 9

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT :)**

**Bella's Point Of View**

"That's hardly a reasonable amount of food to be considered a _meal_. Bella." Edward crossed his arms over his chest, staring at me intently.

I glared at him. "What do you think I should eat then, _Edward_." I growled.

"BELLA!" Charlie warned, shouting.

"Chill." I muttered, rolling my eyes at Charlie, then looking at Edward. "Well?"

"Have some fish, I know you'll have plenty, Charlie went fishing just this weekend, remember?" He said, hinting to me.

"I'm vegetarian." I held my head up. "Eating animals is wrong."

"You wasn't five minutes ago." Edward replied.

"You never asked me five minutes ago, did you? How would you know." I said, turning my back to him, I didn't like arguing with an angel like Edward.

"Because you've always been perfectly capable of skinning and gutting the fish Charlie's brought home, Bella."

He had me there. "Fine. You make me something to eat then." I said, taking a seat at the table and folding my arms across my chest in anger.

I watched as Edward cooked my dinner, counting all the calories he was adding to it. Twenty minutes later he placed the bowl in front of me. I'd managed to estimate at about nine hundred and fifty calories. It's always best to round _up_ rather than down. "There you go." He said, placing a fork in front of me along with the meal he'd prepared._ Risotto_. This could be one of the worst meals one person could possibly eat. All the rice wouldn't help in the slightest bit, they where full of unwanted carbs and calories, _AND_ the cheese. All that disgusting fat, sticking all the rice together. I stuck my fork into the pile of sticky fatty calories and pushed it around.

"Just eat it, Bella." Whoever spoke, spoke with a disgruntled tone. I didn't know who it was, I'd never really heard any of the three speak in that tone before.

"Fine." I grumbled, picking up the fork with a tiny amount on. I looked up, to see Edward shaking his head. I rolled my eyes, putting more onto the fork. "Happy now?" I scowled, gulping sticking it into my mouth. This was the first time in months I'd had a proper meal. I took another tiny forkful and swallowed it without chewing. DISGUSTING, DISGUSTING, DISGUSTING. I took another forkful, and swallowed without tasting. It didn't help, I could feel the fat in my mouth, and I was too full to force myself to eat any more. I placed the fork in the food, pushing the the rest of it into the middle of the table.

"Eat some more, Bella." Carlisle said, smiling at me comfortingly.

"I'm too full." I whispered, beginning to feel queasy.

"You've hardly eaten anything." Charlie commented. "A tiny bit more Bella?" He asked.

I shook my head, clutching my stomach, which was spinning in anger. "Bella, what's wrong?" Edward asked curiously, walking over to me slowly. I shook my head 'no', whilst running over to the trash can, stepping on the pedal making it fling upwards, and put my head down, as the contents of my stomach emptied into the bin. I could feel cool fingers hold my hair back. I spat the remaining bits that lay in my mouth into the bin. I turned around to look at my Dad and Carlisle who looked more upset then they had been in the first place. I knew somewhere, something was telling me to feel disappointed in myself, but I was happy I'd managed to throw up the meal, without even trying.

"Can I go to bed now?" I whispered.

"Sure." Carlisle replied.

I ran up the stairs as fast as I could, not wanting to stay in the same room as the three of them. They where evil, they wanted me to be ugly. I locked my bedroom door and couldn't find the energy to shower or to change, so I just feel soundly asleep on the top of my bed, managing to kick my shoes off my feet...

**Edward's Point Of View**

There was no denying it. This is all my fault. If I hadn't said those words back in September that broke both our hearts; but more importantly, _hers_. Bella would be happy, she'd be her normal self. Not this skeleton that's risking every moment of her life she has trying to "_better"_ herself. I knew what she was going through, what she was probably thinking, I could hear everyone else's thoughts in that clinic. What they thought of Bella, how none of them where a bad as my Bella.

If I hadn't left, Bella wouldn't be trying to kill herself like this. I'd rather have Bella be obese, then this little frail skeleton, but what did it matter to me? Bella would always be beautiful, no matter what, and I'd always love her, no matter what. Or even better, Bella and I could have been happily married like Alice had once seen in her visions.

I'd have to try harder, I need Bella to get better. I don't - and won't - ever enjoy watching Bella starve herself.

I sat on a tree branch outside of Bella's window, waiting to make sure she was asleep so I could make an appearance. I knew she was more than likely to be angry with me. Five minutes later, when I was certain Bella was asleep, I slipped into her bedroom window, and sat myself down on the rocking chair in the corner of the room and watched my sleeping beauty.

This was my fault. I'd destroyed her, it was like clipping off an angels wings. Never have I truly believed I was a monster more than I ever have at this moment in time.

I slowly walked over to her and fell to my knees by her bedside, and picked up one of her hands, holding it in both of mine. "What have I done to you?" I whispered, letting one hand go of hers to push her hair behind her ear. I brought my hand back to where her hand lay in my left hand. I pulled up the jumper on her arm, almost choking on air. It was practically bone. You could see every vein and bone stick out along her arm. Bella, my Bella, she was just skin and bone. I placed my thumb and forefinger together around her wrist. I could still move my hand up and down her arm without having to make the hole even bigger. Truth was, there was still space between her arm and my hand. I let go of her wrist and intertwined our fingers together and held them on the space between us in the bed. I was even more afraid of hurting her whilst she was in this fragile state.

I watched Bella toss and turn in her bed, but never letting go off my hand till the sun began to rise. She squeezed my hand tighter. "Edward?" She mumbled quietly.

"Morning, love." I said, finally getting to my feet and leaning over her. She smiled a small smile, then brought a finger to her lips, tapping them twice before dropper her hand down. Bella wanted a kiss. I smiled at her warmly, and kissed her on the lips. She grinned and sat up right in her bed, her back ram rod straight.

"Is that all I get?" Bella asked, crossing her bony little child like arms across her chest and jutting out her bottom lip. I didn't reply. I didn't want to break Bella. She was more fragile then she ever could be. I leaned down to her and spent longer kissing her this time round. I pulled away from kissing her, and decided to sit on the edge of the bed.

"What do you want to do today, love?" I asked.

"School, obviously. Its a Friday, I always go to school on a Friday." She rolled her eyes at me sarcastically. I knew it was Friday, but why would Bella want to go to school? I'd just assumed that she wouldn't want to go to school, but then again, Bella had a tendency to surprise me. She always does.

"You don't have to if you don't want to, love." I replied, kissing her hand.

"I'd rather things continue the same from Monday. Forget this crap ever happened." Bella replied, flipping over her bed covers and getting out from her bed. I'd rather they didn't, Bella. I'd rather you get better, I'd rather see you happy and full of life again. "I'm getting in the shower, I'll be back in five."

"I'll get my car." I replied, slipping out the window and running to my house to retrieve my Volvo. I ran up to my bedroom, grabbing a towel and quickly getting in the shower. There was no need to get into the shower, but even as a vampire its comforting and soothing. I wrapped my towel around myself and stepped into my bedroom to see Alice, with a sympathetic expression sitting on my leather couch.

"Don't let Bella go to school today." Alice ordered. "I don't think it's a good idea."

"Why not." I muttered, going to my closet and picking up a pair of jeans and a shirt. "It's what she wants."

_Edward. Trust me on this, it'll end in tears._ She said sternly.

"I'll try my best." I muttered. "But you know how Bella gets..."

_I do. But still, just try and get her to take the day off. I think the worst that would happen is you ripping Jessica's or Lauren's heads off. Carlisle wouldn't be too happy. _She then grinned._ Although I wouldn't mind you ripping their heads of... I'm not a big fan of them._ I chuckled.

"I'll go and tempt her now." I said walking over to my chest where I kept my underwear.

_Oh yeah, by the way, Edward._ Alice thought. _I turned to look at her. I've already picked out your clothes for today, big brother._ She giggled mentally.

"Great. Now I have my sister picking out what clothes I wear." I muttered to her.

Alice smirked, and left the room. I changed into Alice's choices of clothes, not paying attention to any of the unwanted pieces of cloth that I was putting on. I got into my Volvo and drove to Bella's house, parking outside the front next to Charlie's cruiser. I got out the car and meet Charlie half way up the pathway.

"Morning Charlie." I smiled warmly at him.

"Hey, Edward." He greeted me then stopped in his tracks as soon as we where standing in front of each other. "Make sure she eats something at lunch."

"Of course I will Charlie." I reassured him. "I don't like seeing Bella like this."

"Mhm." He replied, then scuffed at the ground with his feet. "Well, I'll see you later then."

"Bye." I replied, but Charlie was already walking down the pathway to his Police cruiser.

I walked up the front porch and knocked on the door before letting myself in. "Bella?" I called, even though I knew where she was, upstairs, in the bathroom.

"One minute." She shouted back.

I ran up the stairs and stood leaning against the wall waiting for her. "Have you had breakfast?" I asked from the other side of the door.  
"Yes." She sighed unhappily.

"What was it."  
"Toast." She replied in an upset tone.

"What's wrong?" I replied. Surely she wasn't upset over a bit of toast.

"Nothing." She replied, sniffing. I could hear her moving around in the bathroom.

"Bella?" I knocked on the door. "Can I come in." I asked. No answer, but a few sniffs. I knocked again. "Bella? If you don't reply I'll just come in anyway." I threatened, but Bella didn't say a word. I pushed the door open and noticed Bella sitting on the floor in a pair of her brown jeans and my favourite blue top. Except it looked all wrong, the clothes looked far too big for her tiny frame. I knelt down beside her sobbing body, wrapping my arms around her and placing her in my lap. "Bella, what's wrong." I said moving hair away from her face.

"I'm such a pig." She cried sobbing into my shoulder.

"No, Bella, your not. Your far from it."

"Yes I am." She cried. "A quarter Edward. _Quarter._" She began sobbing hysterically.

"Bella, what are you talking about?" I asked, confused.

"I... .. had.... a quarter... .. of … that …. … …... toast." She cried hysterically. "Do you know how many calories that is Edward, do you?" I didn't reply. This was frustrating, I was deliberating whether I should stuff food down her throat myself or just stick a tube down her throat while she's sleeping. "I'm going to get all nasty. Look at me Edward." She cried hiding her face from me in my throat, and holding her arms around my neck.

"Bella, your being utterly absurd." I said kissing the top of her head. "Look at me Bella." I asked, she pulled away slightly but brought her head up to my level but still had her head titlted downward. I put a finger under her chin and pulled her head carefully and slowly up so she had to look me in the eyes. "Your beautiful, Bella. You always have been." I answers placing a soft chaste kiss on her lips. "Now, where shall we go out today?" I asked.

"I already said. School, Edward." She replied. I cupped my hand around her cheek and began stroking her beautiful face, gazing into her eyes. I inched closer to her, brushing my lips against hers. "Don't try and budge me, Edward." She muttered, closing her eyes and nestling her face into my hand.

"We could do whatever you want." I said, tracing around her lips with a finger.

Bella's eyes flashed open. "I want to go to school, Edward. I want to go back to normal." She said angrily.

I sighed, typical. "Fine." I muttered. "If your ready we should start going to school, or we're going to be late."

Bella got up from my embrace, fixed her hair and walked down the stairs in silence. She got into my Volvo in silence. I held her hand whilst we drove to school, neither of us breaking the silence. I opened her car door once we'd reached the school parking lot. She made a move to get out but shivered, before sitting back down again. I slipped of my jacket and held it open for her to slip her arms into. She got up and slid her arms into the jacket as I helped her into it.

"How many layers are you wearing, Bella?" I asked.  
"A few."  
"How many?" I asked again.

"One shirt, three jumpers and a jacket... .. well two jackets now." She sighed. "Why."  
"Nothing." I sighed, wrapping an arm around her waist and closing the car door. What have I done?

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	10. Chapter 10

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT :)**

**I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. **

**Edward's Point Of View**

"Hey!" Angela greeted us, engulfing Bella in a hug as we set foot on campus. "How was your stay with your Mom?"

"I... err... .." Bella stuttered then gave me a death glare, locking her eyes on mine. "It was great." She replied in a monotone voice.

"Oh." Angela replied. "Hey, Edward!" She turned to talk to me. "How are you."

"Great, thank you Angela, yourself?" I replied not wanting to be rude.

"I'm good thanks." She replied "I'll see you two at lunch." She smiled turning around to greet Ben Cheney who was just getting out of his car.

"What did you lie for, Edward?" Bella looked at me angrily

"You wanted me to go around shouting to the school that you was in an ED clinic, Bella? And neither of us could survive without the other, and you completely failed to get better?" I snapped back, not meaning too, but Bella was never going to understand. "I didn't want you coming back to a school full of pathetic kids that do nothing but gossip all day." Bella's face softened.

"You didn't tell anyone?"

I shook my head. "Because I knew you wouldn't want me to." I sighed. "I'm your boyfriend, Bella, not Jessica Stanley." I inwardly groaned saying the word boyfriend. Boyfriend wasn't a big enough word for the way I felt about Bella, but then again, neither was fiancée or wife and Bella didn't want to marry me. Well not yet anyway.

"Thank you Edward." She kissed my cheek quickly. "Can we go to our first class now?" She asked.

"We haven't got lessons until after lunch today." I explained. "We're meant to go to the hall, don't know what for though, I haven't been in. I only know because of them lot over there, thinking about it." I replied turning my head to the group of friends to the side.

"Oh." She sighed. "Lets go to the hall then."

"As you wish." I smiled, walking with Bella to the hall, taking a seat in the far back corner, even though there was five rows of chairs with around twenty chairs in each row. To hold everyone in our year. I held Bella's hand in my own, rubbing soothing little circles in it, hoping Bella would slightly relax, I could hear how fast her heart was beating, and I knew she was paranoid about something. "What's wrong Bella?" I kissed the knuckles on her hand, breathing in her scent.

She shook her head, and turned to gaze into my eyes. I gazed back into hers, her beautiful brown eyes glimmering in the most beautiful way possible. I watched as a beautiful smile cracked across her beautiful face, making me grin back. Probably making myself look like a fool. I leaned towards her, placing my hands on either side of her face and brushed my lips slowly against hers, making her shiver in pleasure and began kissing her slowly, and passionately, savouring the taste of her soft warm beautiful lips against mine.

"SWAN, CULLEN, QUIT IT." Shouted Coach Clapp with his arms crossed standing at the front of the hall.

"Sorry sir." I muttered, pulling away from Bella, but still holding her hand in the tiny space between us.

"Sorry." Bella blushed looking down.

"Today, we're going to be watching a documentary, then we are going to lunch, then our lessons after that where we will discuss the documentary in our classes. Which will be finished by the yearly cross country run." Coach Clapp's grin appeared at the mention of cross country. I wondered if Bella would now want to be in school, or all of a sudden take up my offer on ditching? "Any questions before I start the video?" He asked whilst Mr Banner walked in pushing an out of date television set and VCR with him, stopping it in the middle of the hall. I shot my hand up in the air. "Yes, Cullen?"

"Why weren't we told about this?" I asked.

_Bloody retard, that's what you get for skipping. _"Should of been in the other day, son." He bellowed. "Newton?" He asked.

"Can I go to the toilet sir?" He asked sheepishly, grinning. _He'll think I'm totally innocent pulling this face, and he'll have to let me go. I couldn't face wetting my pants in front of the whole senior year._ I chuckled quietly to myself so no one would notice.

"Make it quick." Coach sighed pointing his thumb to the exit to his left.

With that, Mike Newton ran out the hall, causing wind to blow through the door. Bella shivered. "Your cold." I sighed taking off my jumper, wrapping it around her small stick like frame.

"Thank you." She smiled. It was a weak smile, and not as full as her smiles used to be. But it was still beautiful. She leaned against me, and I wrapped my arms around her, just as Mike came running back in, taking his seat next to Tyler. The lights where flicked off by Coach Clapp, and Mr Banner pressed play.

The video began, with a muscular man with blonde hair on the screen. He had freckles on his cheeks and his nose was slightly wonky. "Hey. Welcome to teen troubles. In this video, we'll be going over main subjects and issues that involve teenagers. We'll be looking at love and relationships for the first half an hour, smoking and drugs the next and then eating disorders and anorexia for the last part." Everyone turned to face Bella at the word anorexia. Bella sunk down in her chair and tried her best to ignore the glares, but I could tell that she obviously couldn't. They knew Bella had bad eating habits. Scrap that, more like no eating habits, she ate nothing to have a habit with it.

Bella squeezed my hand tightly, and I squeezed back gently. I leaned over so my lips where at her ear. "We can leave if you feel uncomfortable here." I whispered in her ear. "No one will notice us slipping out the back door." Bella stood up carefully. I picked Bella up and ran out the door far too fast for human eyes to see, and placed her down in my Volvo. I ran around and sat in the drivers seat. "Are you OK, love?" I asked, holding her hand and watching her face, as she looked over the campus.

She nodded her head. "Yeah... I think." She whispered.

She looked like she was deep in thought. "What's on your mind." I asked curiously, drawing circles onto the palm of her hand.

"Wh... at... happened just in there." She whispered, closing her eyes. A clear sign of distress. I would of smiled if it wasn't causing her this stress. She knew there was something wrong with her, and eventually, very soon, she'd want to be back to the normal old happy clumsy Bella.

"Shall we go home?" I asked.

"No, I told you. I wanted everything back to normal, before this shit happened." She sighed heavily.

"What exactly do you mean, Bella?" I asked, unsure where this was heading.

"I want to be normal! I want to be pretty Edward. Is that too much to ask for? I've heard people talk about me, Edward! I don't want to be remembered as an ugly fat bitch everyone hated!" She starts to cry uncontrollably, I move closer to her in the limited space, holding her sobbing frame "It's all I've ever wanted, Edward." She sobs into my neck, wetting my shirt with her tears.

"You don't see yourself clearly Bella. You don't see yourself at all." I whisper into her ear. "Your the most beautiful thing I've set my eyes on, and probably ever will." And then I scoffed. "And if you think your fat, you haven't seen the way your bones stick out when you walk. Scratch that, Bella. You might as well be a walking skeleton."

She let go of me and glared at me. "Stop fucking about with me Edward." She growled, wiping the tears on her face, she reached for the glove compartment of my car. I put my hand over it to stop her from getting what she wanted.

"No." I whispered.

"EDWARD." She shouted at me, trying to tug it open with her deteriorating amount of strength.

"Bella, please." I whispered, looking into her eyes which she made a point of not looking at me. "I'm not going to let you destroy your life because you think it's what's best, because I know what's right for you, you, don't." I sighed, playing the hand on her shoulder on her shoulder. "Look at me, Bella." She turned to face me, her eyes red from crying. I wiped away a warm tear that was trailing down her face with my finger. "I love you." I whispered. So fast that I was unable to believe it, she opened the glove compartment, taking out the cigarettes I'd confiscated of her, and got out of the car.

I watched as she walked across the parking lot and sat down on the floor next to one of the picnic benches, lighting up a cigarette. I watched as she brought her legs up to her chest, and rested her head on her knee's in a position where she could still smoke the blasted cancer stick. Bella sat staring at the ground, tears still falling down her face.

I unlocked the car door, and got out, bringing my parka from my back seat with me, it would be freezing out there to her, colder for her than it would be if she had a reasonable amount of body fat on her stick frame.

I sat down next to her, draping the coat over her shoulders. "Put it on." I whispered. "You'll freeze to death out here." I put my hand on her knee. "Stub out the cigarette, Bella."

"I'm fucking agitated Edward, what else am I meant to do?" Bella growled. "I'm sorry for shouting at you." She replied quietly, still staring at the floor.

"It's OK Bella." I put an arm around her and pulled her closer to me, burying my face in her neck. "I wish I could be angry with you." I muttered into her neck.

I could hear something being rubbed against the ground then a quiet sound as if a fire was taken out. I could only presume she had stubbed out the cigarette. I could feel her wrap her arms around me and lay her head on top of my neck.

I breathed in her scent, the aroma making venom pool in my mouth, but not as much as it used to. Her blood levels where lacking the nutrients she needed, I could tell of the clear difference the way her sugar levels used to be high, making her blood smell sweet, but she smelt near enough the same as the average human, although it was more potent than any other human.

"What are you thinking about?" She whispered.

I was confused as to what to say to her. Would telling her that her blood wasn't as sweet as it used to be upset her? But it didn't change how much I loved her by a fraction. I didn't want to worsen Bella's already fatal condition. "Worrying about you actually." I replied, which was still partly true to her, so it didn't really count as lying if I skipped out a majority of what I was thinking. I saw no harm.

"You need to relax, Edward." She murmured and kissed the top of my head. "Everything will be OK."

No, Bella, it sure as hell won't be. I wanted to growl at her, to point out to her what she's been doing to herself, but knowing this probably wouldn't change her state of mind. I often wondered whether I where to open up her brain, see what it would tell me about the way she thought and how she put everyday things and how she saw people in her everyday perspective.

I could feel her breathing against my hair, and kissing me on the head every so often, making me feel like a small child being kissed better by their mother.

Sadness washed over me as I realised my own mother probably did this to me as a child, but I wouldn't regret falling sick from the Spanish Influenza, it was the best thing that happened to me, besides meeting Bella. I wouldn't be anywhere near happy if it wasn't for this amazing creature that was the love of my very long existence. If she could help me be happy, I could help her be happy, and that's exactly what I've planned on doing, if only she didn't have to make it so hard for me.

From what I heard from the thoughts of the other clients in the eating disorder rehab, and seeing into the way someone like Bella thought. Her only way to gain happiness would be loosing weight, being the skinniest person on the planet of the Earth.

_Little tykes, should put them in detention for this. Can't believe they think they could get away with skipping a lesson as vital as this._ Mr Banner's thoughts interrupted my train of thoughts. _Just because his dad's the towns surgeon and her dad's the towns police chief, maybe I should call in the both of them for a little chat, along with the two little love birds._

"We've got company." I spoke quietly, taking hold of Bella's hand with mine.

"I don't care, this is the most comfortable I've been in a long time." She replied.

I smiled. "If you we don't get up how can I kiss you." I whispered slyly. I knew this would be the only reason for her to get up, I didn't want to risk hurting her.

"How am I supposed to believe you if you don't kiss me first?" She asked.

"I promise Bella." I replied, not wanting to get us into more trouble than we already where.

I could feel her unwrap her arms from around me as she sat up straight, as I followed her. I put my hands on the small of her back as she put her skimpy arms around me neck, drawing me close.

I brushed my lips against hers, as both our mouths moved slowly and carefully against each others, feeling her warm lips brush over mine, the kiss was filled with passion, like one of those kisses that could make you happy even if you where in one of the most depressing states of mind. As we broke apart from the kiss, both gasping our eyes melting into each others, something tugged at a memory, elusive, on the edges.

"And what do you two think your doing flogging class? Most importantly, my class?" Came an annoyed Mr Banner, his voice droning on and on. If I was the seventeen year old boy my body was, in my own right of mind I would of knocked him out cold by now.

"Sorry sir, it was just a video sir, we didn't see any harm in leaving the lesson early." I replied, getting up from the wet grass and holding a hand out for Bella to grab onto so I could pull her up like a ten pound bag of potatoes to her feet.

"And what would Dr Cullen have to say if he knew you where skipping with your girlfriend no less." He asked, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet with his hands balled behind his back, acting cocky.

"He'd understand if he knew the reason." I replied. "I'm sure he wouldn't care either way."  
"We'll see about that than shall we Mr Cullen?" He asked, turning to Bella. "And why do you think your skipping class Miss Swan?"

"I... err... because..." She stuttered and flashed me a look for help.

"She found some bits unnerving and disturbing." I stated, honesty and serenity ringing from each and every word I spoke.

"So it's OK to come out here and be kissing Mr Cullen then is it?" He asked, annoyed that I'd answered instead of Bella.

"No Sir." Bella whispered quietly her voice cracking, as she stared down at the floor guiltily.

"We'll see what both chief Swan and Dr Cullen think about this later shall we?" He threatened. "Now get back inside, I'll be watching you two."

Both Bella and I turned to the hall and made our way back, for once, not holding hands as we walked side by side together, we hadn't not held hands since the first time I'd began getting to know Bella, questioning her, familiarising myself in the way she done things her way. Mr Banner walked behind us in silence, chaffering us to the hall, if you will. I looked over at Bella who looked slightly worried. "It'll be OK, Bella. If Charlie is what your worried about he'll understand, Bella." I spoke to her.

"Stop talking Mr Cullen." Mr Banner ordered.

"Yes Sir." I replied, rolling my eyes, making an adorable smile spread across Bella's face.

**REVIEW FOR MORE! ;O**

_A/N _

_Sorry for the late update, yesterday, my friend tripped up on the only step by her garden door and had to go to the A&E because she hit her head pretty hard and there was a bit of blood. It was the most hilarious thing ever. Nearly everyone knew her there already, and she kept claiming there wasn't a step there the day before. Same thing goes for my kitchen wall, doesn't it J? :P_

_Could someone tell me where I could get New Moon premier tickets for London? Or how I could get them, I'm desperate to find some, or know how to get them for when it gets closer to the time._

_OR IF THERE IS SOME COMIC CON THING IN ENGLAND LIKE THEY DO IN AMERICA, WHEN THEY GOT TO SEE THE TWO NEW CLIPS FROM NEW MOON. (WHICH WERE FRIGGEN AMAZING!)_

_I'd appreciate it loads, thanks._

_**ALSO! DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORIES.**_

_**AND PLEASE REVIEW, I ALWAYS UPDATE ON WHAT EVER STORY GETS THE MOST REVIEWS THE QUICKEST, BECAUSE I KNOW PEOPLE ACTUALLY WANT TO READ IT.**_


	11. Chapter 11

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT :)**

**I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. **

**Edward's Point Of View**

I held Bella's hand as we sat back down at the back of the hall, all whilst Mr Banner gave me disapproving looks, as if I was doing something wrong myself.

To be honest, in his state of mind, it _was_ the wrong thing to do, but he didn't understand what Bella was going through right now. I just needed to remember Bella _needed _me right now, I wasn't ever going to give up hope on her. This was my fault anyway.

I raised our hands that where twined together to my lips and pressed a kiss onto her warm hand, then dropped it back into the space between us as the documentary finished. As we queued up for lunch, I held the tray whilst Bella leaned her head against my shoulder as I put random objects of food on the tray and paid for it, sitting down at our usual table.

"Where's Alice?" Bella asked.

"Jazz was lonely." I lied, Bella wouldn't see through it.

The only people who saw right through my lies where Carlisle because he's known me for so long and Alice, because she had candid predictions of the future.

"Oh." Bella mumbled sadly.

"Why?" I asked, kissing the top of her head as I heard her heart beat increase from my little gesture.

Bella laughed nervously. "Eh, nothing." She mumbled, obviously lying.

"You know if there's anything wrong you can tell me, right?" I whispered in her ear as our table was beginning to get crowded with the usual group of humans that sat here; Bella's friends.

"Edward, I'm fine." She sighed, attempting to sound like she meant it, but I knew she didn't.

"All right." I sighed, then pulled our tray a little closer towards Bella. "Eat something then." I ordered, watching her as she lifted her hand up hesitantly, picking up the fork, I could see her hand trembling as she stuck it into the pasta on the tray. "It's going to be OK." I whispered in her ear, taking her other hand under the table and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

Bella gave me a small smile and without looking at the small piece of pasta on the fork, she popped it into her mouth and began chewing. I watched as she chewed it for a minute then swallowed it, as if she wanted everything pulverised before she could swallow.

She proceeded to eat half the plate before she pushed it forwards. It was a good enough attempt for me. I would just have to build up her appetite from there. No doubt Esme would enjoy cooking multiple meals for Bella, and extra to take home to Charlie.

Bella took a swig of water from her bottle. "I need a human moment." She mumbled quietly to me. "Stay here."

"Be quick." I smiled kissing her on the cheek. She got up a small smile on her lips and walked out the cafeteria.

"You OK Edward?" Angela asked curiously.

"Yes, thank you." I replied, faking a smile on my face.

Angela shifted over closer to me, taking Bella's seat. "Is Bella OK." She whispered quietly to me, not causing anyone to hear her. "I think maybe she's... you know." She said eyeing Bella's left over pasta on the table.

I sighed heavily, putting my elbows on the table and putting my head in my hands. "I know." I replied quietly so no one could over hear us. "That's where she went earlier in the week, so she could get help. She wouldn't cooperate, Bella's more stubborn than she looks." I muttered, angry that I had to admit it all, knowing Bella wouldn't be happy, but maybe Angela could help her a bit too? It wasn't as if she was likely to go off blabbing gossip and rumours around about Bella. "They said they didn't want her... was going to affect everyone else there." I looked up at Angela. "I know it's my fault, and I'm trying my best, but she just won't listen."

"It'll get better Edward, it just takes time." She offered.

I looked up from my hands and gave her a sad smile. "Don't tell her I told you, or that you know for that matter, Bella can be really persistent when she wants her own way." Angela smiled and pretended to lock her lips and throw away the key over her shoulder. I chuckled. "Thank you." I could hear someone puking in one of the wash rooms around the corner of the corridor. I couldn't hear that persons thoughts in there wrenching their lunch up.. making everything click into place. I couldn't believe Bella could do this to me. Not now, after I thought she was getting better. I got up from my seat. "I'm going to go see if she's all right." I declared to Angela, picking up the tray of food and dumping it in the trash can before running at a measly human pace to the wash rooms.

I growled to myself realising I couldn't go in. Unless I wanted everyone to think I was some kind of sick perverted peeping tom. I stood on the opposite side of the wall, propping my leg up, waiting for Bella to make her appearance. If she thought I was stupid enough to sit there in the cafeteria whilst she disposed of the food.

Bella came out twenty minutes later, as soon as her eyes travelled up me, her jaw dropped open, then closed shut, as if she remembered she was trying to keep up her façade of nothing being wrong.

"Bella." I looked at her, disappointed in her, not trying to hide it any more. She looked down and walked away from me. "Bella." I said again as I caught her just as she was about to fall. I stood her upright, lifting her chin gently so she would look me on the eyes.

"What do you want, Edward?" She asked annoyed.

"Why?" I asked her.

"I don't know what your talking about." She mumbled, trying to get out of my arms as I held her in them.

"You told me everything was going to be OK." I accused.

"Yes, now if you would just let go off me Edward." She said as she got out of my arms, and began walking towards the exit by the parking lot.

"Where are you going?" I asked her.

"I don't know.. yet." She muttered.

I walked next to her as she walked with her shoulders slumped. "You can talk to me about it." I offered, hoping she really would tell me what she was thinking this time instead of making up more lies.

"Don't feel like talking to you." She growled. "And I don't want you following me."

"At least tell me where your going."

"Wherever I decide to walk, Edward."

I put my arm around her wrist and turned her around to face me. "At least take the Volvo." I muttered, taking my keys out my trouser pocket and sticking them in her skeleton hand. "It'll make me feel better."

"Yeah, whatever Edward." She muttered quietly, taking the keys and walking off.

I watched as she started my car and drove off crying. I waited till she was out of the parking lot to begin walking after her at a human pace. I could hear my phone begin to ring in my pocket. I flipped it open; to see Alice's display picture; her posing above where it said '_Alice Calling_' on my phone. I accepted her call.

"What?" I muttered angrily, she probably couldn't of called at a worse time than right now.

"Shut up and stop being such a moody shit." I was taken aback by her words, Alice never swore. Only occasionally when she had her so called 'fashion disasters'. "EDWARD." She shouted at me. "She's going to fall asleep at the wheel, you'll probably be able to run after her at a human speed before it's too late, then take her to the hospital. I'll meet you there." She hung up the phone and I began sprinting across the parking lot at vampire speed seeing as no one was out here or watching me for that matter. I could see Bella down the end of the road, and couldn't be bothered with human appearances at the moment, then noticed someone left the key in their car that was parked right by the exit. I took my chances and broke into it without managing to smash the window open in my haste. I drove after Bella, and caught up with her just as her eyes where fluttering closed.

I checked around to make sure no one was watching, then stopped the car in the middle of the road and got out, sliding into my Volvo, pulling Bella over into the passenger seat, passed out.

I done a U-turn and headed back the other way towards Forks hospital.

I parked my Volvo in the staff parking area and carried Bella inside, where Alice was standing with her arms folded across her chest.

"You can be such an idiot at times." She muttered at me. "Did she look fit enough to drive? No. She didn't" Her voice was getting louder, attracting more attention to us.

"Be quiet." I whispered, looking down at the broken angel in my arms. "Why did she have to come here anyway? You know she'll be mad enough when she wakes up, all she needs is some sleep, Alice."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Your lucky I saw what was going to happen, do you know that?" She whispered angrily. _I saw her die, Edward. If I hadn't told you to bring her here, her body would of given up on her._

"Oh." I mumbled looking down at Bella again. "I'm sorry."

"No time for apologizes, lets just get her an IV and a feeding tube." She said, walking down the hallway into Carlisle's room. I lay Bella down on the bed whilst Alice went off to get Carlisle and an IV.

I rolled Bella's sleeves up and took off the bracelet and rubber band that she had around her wrist. She shivered in her sleep so I took off her shoes, then draped the hospital blanket over her. Carlisle walked in with Alice and a nurse.

Carlisle offered me a small smile. _You did the right thing, Edward._

I looked away from him to stare at the cracks in the walls instead, I didn't want to see this. "We're going to use a drip to feed her instead of a feeding tube, Edward, we thought it would be better for her, easier."

"OK." I whispered, trying to ignore what they where thinking. I didn't need their sympathy.

***

**Bella's Point Of View**

I woke up to the all familiar smell of a hospital. I opened my eyes to be greeted by an angry vampire and an upset dad both sitting on either side of me. I almost nearly felt the need to roll my eyes and go back to sleep.

I lifted my hand up to scratch the inside of my eye, but noticed it was connected to something. I let my eyes wander up both of the tubes. One of the tubes, lead to a bag of blood the other, I wasn't expecting. A bag of an off yellow colour.

"What's that one for?" I asked.

"Is that all you can say?" Edward whispered.

I turned away from him to Charlie. "Hey, Dad." I smiled at him.

Charlie's eyes narrowed at me. "How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Never better." I grinned, to which both Charlie and Edward grimaced. "Aren't you meant to be at work?"

"I didn't want to leave you." He muttered. "Work can wait whilst my daughters in hospital."

"Dad, you can go back to work." I rolled my eyes. "I'll be fine."

"Bella, be rational, please." I was surprised by his word choice, it was something Edward was more likely to say.

I looked at Edward for a second, narrowing my eyes at him, then turned back to Charlie. "You've been talking to him, haven't you?" I accused. "I can't believe you." I shouted at him. Charlie looked at his hands and began playing with the sleeve of his uniform. I turned back to Edward to glare at him, I raised my free hand, pointing a finger at Edward. "And you, I can't believe you." I shouted, my voice getting louder. Edward winced. "This is like last September all over again." Edward winced again and his face crumbled in pain.

Carlisle walked into the room then, smiling at us. "Hey Bella, how you doing?"

"Oh shut up will you." I growled, not able to contain my anger with everyone.

Carlisle kept his smile intact. "Edward, Charlie, a word?" He asked.

"Sure." Charlie mumbled as both he and Edward got up and followed Carlisle out the room.

As soon as I heard the door click shut I felt guilty for treating them like rubbish, but it had to be said sooner or later. I looked up to the other strange bag, trying to keep my mind of Edward's face when I'd had a go at him. The yellow substance looked a little thicker than the blood, I noticed the white writing on the bag. '_Banana bag (Contains multivitamins, thiamine, folic acid and magnesium sulphate.) Use within 24 hours of being mixed. Supplies contain enough calories for a day.' _I growled as I finished reading it. They where trying to make me fatter than I already was.

I looked back at my hand where the insulting needle was stuck into my skin. I could only see two options to solving this. Option One; Pulling it out, but if I pulled it out, knowing my luck, there was a great chance I'd rip half the skin off my arm off with it. Option Two; Using the laws of gravity to stop the flow of the disgusting, repulsive liquid making its way into my blood stream.

I smiled to myself at how clear the answer was. I held my arm up above my head, leaning it against the bed so it couldn't trail up the rest of the tube. The only way that nasty stuff was going into my bloodstream was if it was squeezed at the other end, forcing the crap inside to go into my body.

The door opened and Carlisle, Charlie and Edward all stood there.  
"I'm going to head off back to the station." Charlie announced. "I'll be back later." And with that he left me.

Edward came and sat back in the chair he was sitting in before, and Carlisle walked over sitting on my bed instead.

"Edward, I think you should go home for a while, give Bella a rest." Carlisle said, whilst scrutinizing my face. I looked back at Edward who was looking at me.  
"Carlisle.." He muttered.

"Edward, she needs a rest from you. Come back when you can actually put a smile on your face. I'm sure Bella doesn't want, or _need_ people upset around her." Carlisle turned back to me. "Why, do you have your arm up like that, Bella?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

I glared at him. "I'm not stupid."

Edward snorted. "Of course your not, that's why your this thin. It's disgusting." He muttered something else under his breathe, which I couldn't hear.

Carlisle looked at his son in shock. "Go home, Edward." He ordered, not showing even the smallest bit of anger.

Alice and Rosalie walked in the door. Alice grinning, Rosalie looking bored out of her mind already, both of them holding blue carrier bags. "Edward, go." Alice grinned at him. "Rose and I will stay, she'll be fine."

Edward mumbled something else under his breathe and got up from his chair, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "Be good." This was my turn to snort at him and look away.

I could hear the door click as he left.

"And he calls me stubborn." I muttered, as Carlisle chuckled and Rosalie cracked a smile.

Alice sat on the end of the bed as Rosalie took a seat where Charlie sat.

"I'll leave you two look after Bella." Carlisle smiled at his daughters. "Bella if you need anything just ask, OK?"

"Sure sure." I mumbled, leaning back to look at the ceiling, but becoming preoccupied with my arm still in the air instead.

Carlisle chuckled. "You should take your arm down, your arm will go numb."

"But that crap will go into my body." I accused.

"You need it Bella, trust me. I'm a doctor." He had me there. And the best doctor I knew. Probably the best doctor that would ever exist. "I'll see you three later."

"Bye Carlisle." Alice grinned whilst Carlisle got up and left us three to ourselves.

Alice swivelled her small body around and lay her legs along side mine on the bed, grinning at the other end. "This is like a slumber party." She commented.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, because everyone wants to spend their free time having a party in a hospital bed."

Alice and Rosalie both laughed. Rosalie picked out a fashion magazine from one of the carrier bags and began flicking through it.

Alice picked up the bag and put it near my free hand. "We got you some stuff." She commented. "Shampoo, shower gel, you know that kind of stuff."

"Thanks." I smiled at her. She eyed my raised arm, looking at me oddly; like I was a freak. "What?" I asked.

She grinned. "Nothing, but humans can be so weird. I never would of thought of that." Of course I muttered internally.

Rosalie scoffed in the corner, both Alice and I turned to her with questioning looks...

**REVIEW FOR MORE!**

_A/N A few more chapters left to write! :D_

_Sorry for the long long long delay. Hope you guys haven't retired to the old folks home already. ;)_

_I'll update this one real quick, I want to finish it._

_ALSO, NEW STORY UP! CHECK IT OUT WILL YOU!_

_Its awesome. (I reckon anyway.)_

_Sach x_


	12. Chapter 12

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT :)**

**I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. **

**Bella's Point Of View**

_She grinned. "Nothing, but humans can be so weird. I never would of thought of that." Of course I muttered internally. _

_Rosalie scoffed in the corner, both Alice and I turned to her with questioning looks..._

"What?" She asked, noticing both Alice and I where staring at her waiting for her to continue.

Alice looked at me, then back at Rosalie; which was more than understandable, who would want to look at a fat shit like me when there was someone as beautiful and thin as Rosalie in the room?

Rosalie shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing."

I narrowed my eyes at her, not wanting to loose it with her as well; Rosalie was a pro when it came to giving people the cold shoulder and ignoring them. Everyone in the Cullen household plus I knew she could be a right bitch. "What." I asked her.

Rosalie turned to look at me. "You really want to know?" The tone of her voice frightened me a little, but it didn't stop me cautiously nodding my head at her. "The people in here." She laughed again, turning her magazine around and pointing to one of the beautifully skinny models on the page. "Are literally obese compared to you."

"Whatever." I muttered.

"I'm serious." She commented, getting up to sit next to me, flicking through the pages. "I can't find one person in here skinnier than you. Bella.. you could be pretty." She whispered the last part. "But your throwing away your life. You'd look a lot better if you had more volume to your figure, trust me."

I snorted at her. "Bullshit." I muttered at her, and turned the other way, closing my eyes pretending to sleep.

Rosalie snorted, and I could feel the mattress move as she got off. "She's so ridiculous, I don't know how Edward can bother with her. What does she think? Carlisle's going to come along last minute and save her life." She laughed again.

"Rosalie, she can hear you." Alice murmured.

"I don't care if she can hear me, SHE SHOULD LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY, SOMEONE SANE. Alice it's not right, she's acting like a selfish brat and Edwards all fucking depressed like we left, only worse, because he has to see her try to ruin her life." She paused. "We might as well send them both back to Italy then they can finish the both of them, problem solved."

"And you called Bella selfish." Alice scoffed.

I turned back around, glaring at Rosalie. "This has nothing to do with Edward." I growled.

"The hell it does." Rosalie muttered. "Your both so pathetic, why do you have to bring everyone else around you down when you feel like shit?"

"Your one to talk." Alice mumbled, folding her arms across the chest.

Rosalie flashed her a glare. "I'm doing, I'm not dealing with shit like _her_ any more." She got up and left in silence.

Alice came over and wrapped me up in her tiny cold arms, as I let myself cry properly for once. "Alice..." I whimpered. "Is she right?" I asked, my voice cracking.

"About what, Bella?" Alice asked comfortingly as she stroked my hair comfortingly.

"About everything she said." I whispered.

"You being far too skinny, that's a definite yes." She placed her leg next to mine. "Now, honestly, Bella... who's legs thinner." She said, gesturing to the difference between both of them. I took a quick glance, knowing mine would be so much bigger than hers in the first place, so there really was no point in debating over it. I opened my mouth to speak but Alice cut me off. "Take a proper look Bella." I sighed and looked back down, and slowly... Alice was right, after about seven minutes of Alice and I comparing each others legs to our own... I could finally see what everyone else was seeing.

Alice leg looked skinny, with the difference of volume to it, compared to mine. I just stared blankly at it, the way my knee caps jutted out freakishly. What I thought was doing me some good, was slowly turning me into a freak. I scowled, and looked at my hands, noticing how boney they where after I let my eyes linger on them for a while. I took a brief look down my shirt, noticing how bad I had let it go. Where there was once full, proper breasts, where nothing. Flat chested, and beneath, my ribs where sticking out. That kind of figure you'd expect some kid of little kid starving to death in a third world country to look like. I began to feel guilty, and dropped my hand that was rested above me, letting the bad stuff go into my blood stream, and turned my head into the pillow, whilst Alice kept quiet and rubbed my back as I cried myself to sleep.

***

**Bella's Point Of View**

I sighed as I turned over and opened my eyes slowly, letting them adjust to the light. As they adjusted, I met with worried golden eyes. I smiled, and sat up slowly, and opened my arms, gesturing for him to come and sit with me.

Edward slowly got up and sat on the bed, wrapping an arm gently around my shoulders. "I'm sorry, Edward." I could see him begin to protest, but I held a finger to his lips, I already knew what he was going to say to me, and I knew he'd take the blame solely on himself. "I... I know I've messed up. I'm sorry for upsetting you, and I'm sorry for doing... t-t-this." I stuttered, whispering with a hollow voice, as I gestured to my body.

Edward tensed, and then gave me a small, hopeful smile. "You mean you can understand what we've been getting at now? You want to get better?" I nodded my head, and his face pulled up into a full blown smile, which made me smile too. I hadn't seen Edward this happy in such a long time. His face looked almost weird smiling after it being pulled into many scowls, and disagreeing faces the past weeks, and the massive dark purple bruises under his eyes.

I kissed him on the lips carefully, not sure if he'd let me kiss him after everything I'd put him through, and he responded back, making me breathless as he rested his cheek on top of my head. "I love you, Edward, and I honestly am sorry."

"I love you too, but I have to take some of the blame for this." I sighed, knowing he wouldn't back down without a fight, and the moment felt too right to be ruined as it always was. He sat up, and looked me in the eyes, a careful mask covering his face. "Does this mean I'll be getting my dear girlfriend some breakfast?" I nodded hesitantly. I wanted to try, for him. Edward's lips tugged up at the corners. "That's my Bella." He gave me one more chaste kiss for getting up and standing by the door. "I'll go get you something that'll appease your taste buds, I've heard hospital food isn't rated much." I smiled at him.

"Not at all. I'd rather drink blood any day." Edward chuckled and winked at me before leaving me to myself.

I let myself grin for the first time in ages. I was going to make Edward happy again. I was going to make everything right.

**REVIEW FOR MORE!**

_A/N Probably will be a good 4 or 5 chapters left, I'm not going to dwell over this, because its really not that good, and I'd like to get a story properly finished._

_Sorry this is a short chapter... especially when compared to the rest of the chapters... especially when I've just relived I've written 6 pages on some of them._

_Next chapter will be longer... and a LOT more fluffier. I have fluff to make up for, this story isn't really a good one to stick fluff in, but if she's getting better it's all good._

_FOR WHO ASKED ABOUT BELLA BEING A MOODY SHIT--_

_BEING HUNGRY GENERALLY MAKES EVERYONE AN ANGRY OAF._


	13. Chapter 13

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT :)**

**I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. **

**Bella's Point Of View**

I frowned at Edward when he came back in the room with a tray, and placed it on the bed table, pushing it closer to me.

"What?" Edward asked. I shook my head and pursed my lips. "Just a little bit, Bella, I'm not asking you to eat the whole lot."

I frowned again. "But there's too much, not even a normal person could eat _that_ much, Edward."

"Just do your best." He encouraged.

I rolled my eyes and picked up a slice of the toast, not wanting to eat it, yet just wanting to eat all the food Edward brought so I'd be better again. To make everyone happier, especially Edward.

**Edward's Point Of View**

Charlie came in at lunch his thoughts and face both miserable, until he walked in to find Bella's attempt at eating an orange. His face altered into one of joy and encouragement, as he sat down on the chair I'd grown accustomed to.

"Hey Bells." He greeted cheerily.

Bella rolled her eyes at him, and smiled, her face still looking it could break with any hint of emotion in it. I knew it'd take time for her to get back to normal, but I was going to help speed up this recovery a lot if I could help it. "Hey dad." She grinned a little, and put down the orange she was eating making a face. "I don't think I can eat any more Edward." She complained, and patted her stomach. "I'm already bloated."

I nodded my head as I took the food away, not wanting her to end up throwing up the food she'd eaten as a gag reflex. Whilst Bella had been literally tied to the bed with wires feeding her, I'd been forced to get out by Carlisle. 'For my own good' was how he put it, so I had of course taken the time to do a little hunting, and do a little more research on this stuff, most of it I had already known, but there was other new stuff I'd learnt too.

Bella and Charlie spoke very few words to each other, until Charlie began to speak to me when Bella had decided to take a nap. "How's she been doing Edward?" He asked quietly not wanting to wake her up.

"A lot better since she spoke to Rosalie and Alice yesterday, I think they finally made her see sense." I smiled, grateful that Alice had asked Rosalie to go with her to visit Bella, and even more grateful at Rosalie because I knew she'd disliked Bella, but went anyway. "She ate a normal sized meal at breakfast." I announced proud.

"That's good." Charlie smiled, and turned to look at Bella.

I could see tears form in Charlie's eyes, and I could hear the thoughts in his head, of him thinking it was his fault for not realizing before. "Do you want me to leave?" I asked quietly, careful not to offend him.

"No... I have to admit, I'm grateful for you being here for her. Even though you did leave her without any contact for six months."

"Yeh, I'm sorry about that." I muttered guiltily. Even though Charlie hardly spoke to me, it was obvious that he could be very good at making people see their faults, even if he didn't intend to do so. "I know I've told everyone this a million times, but I am going to sort this mess out."

_And how does he go about that? _Charlie thought to himself, but opted out of the conversation. "I've got to get back to work. Look after her."

"I will."

Charlie got up and left in silence without another word. I sighed as I ran my fingers up and down Bella's arm along her bones. Wishing I could just go back in time and change everything. One again.

**REVIEW FOR MORE!**

_A/N yeah yeah, I know it's short._

_Check out my other stories, I've began a bit of distaste for this story, it's killing me to write such a load of depressing shit that I'm not into any more. _

_I'll attempt a longer chapter next time if I get a lot of reviews this time round._


	14. Chapter 14

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT :)**

**I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. **

**Edward's Point Of View**

_Charlie got up and left in silence without another word. I sighed as I ran my fingers up and down Bella's arm along her bones. Wishing I could just go back in time and change everything. Once again...._

Monday had come back around very slowly, Bella improving miraculously by the minute, even if this morning she'd passed on breakfast, much to my disappointment. So now I was sitting here in the canteen, pulverising the food on the tray in front of me. If I'd had my way I'd of stayed with Bella, but of course Alice had warned me that, firstly: Bella didn't need me breathing down her neck every second of the day, and secondly: the rest of the town was beginning to get suspicious of both Bella's and I's disappearances over the past fortnight.

"How's Bella?" Angela asked quietly next to me whilst everyone was busy gossiping over the latest town scandal. This was the exact thing I was trying to protect Bella from.

"Getting better." I gave her a small smile, and looked back down at my hands, before turning back to her, grinning. "You could come and give her some company, I'm pretty sure she's had enough of my family and I as of lately."

"I'll try." She smiled, just as the bell went off.

The rest of the day dragged on, until I got back to Bella. I climbed into the bed with her, as she wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her head on my shoulder. I closed my eyes resting my head on top of hers.

"I love you." She whispered.

I smiled kissing her hair. "Love you too." I sighed quietly, nuzzling my face into her hair. I sniffed smelling the sweet aroma of her beginning to come back again. "Beautiful girl." I mumbled.

The next week. Alice found out. Bella had been throwing up her food again, exercising it off without us knowing. I'd let my guard down, and Bella had gone back to her old habits. I sat on the chair, my head resting on my knees as I watched the beautiful angel before me.

Alice came in, dragging me back out into the hallway again.

"No." I croaked, as I heard her thoughts.

"Its going to happen Edward. If you don't change her, she'll die."

I looked down at the floor. "How long have I got?"

"Four days at the most. It''s a little hazy."

"At the most." I repeated.

Alice put an arm on my forearm. "Maybe we should get Carlisle, give Charlie and Renee a chance to say bye."

"No." I hissed, towering over her. "It won't happen."

"Edward..."

"I WONT LET IT HAPPEN!" I roared, going back into Bella's room and slamming the door a little too hard. I wouldn't let anyone take my angel away. If she died. I'd go find her.

**REVIEW FOR MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

_a/n so sorry about hwo short it is, and the last time I updated, I dno when it was, except it was a long long long time ago! -guiltyyy- but ive got some more stories coming up, and ONE MORE CHAPTER TILL THE ENDING OF THIS STORY! * GASSSSSp *_

_SACHH X_


	15. Chapter 15

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT :)**

**I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't own twilight. I don't know twilight. I don't own twilight. **

**Edward's Point Of View**

I trailed my fingers over the veins in Bella's arm, humming a new tune quietly to myself. Carlisle has arranged for Renee to come down to make sure she got a chance to say bye. Charlie kept quiet. I kept quiet. Alice still yapped on about changing her.

I placed kisses along Bella's arm, watching the corner of her mouth curl up at the corners as she slept. "Beautiful girl." I whispered.

Maybe I should just be greedy and change Bella anyway. It was what was best. I could imagine my family falling apart at the seems with both Bella and I gone, just like they where when they thought we'd died when we went to Italy. I'd do it for my family's sake.... and for both Bella's and I's happiness too.

The door swung open, Alice grinning as she jumped over and onto my lap, hugging me. "Your the best brother ever!"

I sighed, smiling a little. "Calm down, someone will think you've been sniffing something."

Alice rolled her eyes getting up and waltzing to the door. "Renee will be here soon."

I fake cheered rolling my eyes. "Funny how we've only meet on two occasions, both of them, Bella having been lying in a hospital bed."

She smirked. "Just goes to show Renee how much you love each other." I smiled a little, as Alice left again.

I frowned, placing a kiss on Bella's wrist. If I could turn back time... I thought to myself, once again.

***

**Edward's Point Of View.**

Renee opened the door slowly, her thoughts all jumbled up. I stood up from where I was sitting, letting Renee sit down in the seat.

Bella smiled at her mother. "Hey mom."

Renee took me around my shoulders, giving me a little hug and offering me a smile. "I'll give you two a minute." I smiled weakly. I felt sick to the core if I had to lie straight to Bella's mom's face about her future.

Renee left for an hour to go sort out some stuff with Charlie, they'd invited me to help them sort out some of the stuff, but I didn't want to let myself down.

I paced up and down the corridor, what I'd been doing after running a small errand for Esme, something she thought would put my mind of my constant worrying for Bella.

I could hear familiar voices coming from a room down the corridor, I scowled as I listened in.

"Don't tell him yet." Carlisle whispered to Alice.

"I won't. I won't let my brother die too." I could see Carlisle nod his head in Alice's thoughts. I growled. _Shit._ Alice thought.

I ran down the corridor towards Bella's room at a human pace. A little arm shot out in front of me, followed by a menacing face.

"Move." I ordered. "I want to see her."

"She's sleeping."

"And I won't get to see her again after this, Alice, please, for my sake."

"You can't." She glared.

"I heard you Alice, let me see her one more time."

"Your too late, Edward. She's gone."

"Let me see her." I demanded.

"Edward." Alice whispered, repeating herself. "Your too late."

"I know." I whispered. "One last goodbye, Alice. You'd want the same if it was Jasper. She dropped her arm, letting me into the room. I walked over to Bella, and I lifted her wrist, kissing the inside. "I love you." I whispered, kissing her forehead. "I'll see you soon, my beautiful angel."

I turned back around to Alice who was standing in the doorway silently, I gave her a pleading glance, she knew what I wanted. She frowned. _Esme will hate me for this.... they all will._

"Please Alice." I whispered.

She shook her head. "I can't... your my brother." My hands fisted up, my phone crumbling to pieces in my hand. "Edward, calm down. We can always think of a compromise."

I scoffed. "My girlfriend is de-" I stopped. "I'll figure a way out by myself."

"Edward, wait." She called back as I stormed off down the hall.

"Thanks for the help, Alice."

"Esme will never forgive you!"

I turned around, and shrugged, surprised to see her right behind me. "If its any consolation, I love you guys, you were a great family. But my place is with Bella. Bye."

"I'll miss you." She whispered.

I gave her a little hug. "I'm sorry."

"I understand." She replied, giving me a sad smile.

I climbed out the nearest window, thankful for the back of the hospital to be surrounded by the forest. I ran to the only place I could think of right now. A place where Bella and I had first admitted our feelings for each other. Our meadow.

I smiled as I entered the meadow, imagining the smell of Bella and her heartbeat as if she was here with me. I quickly grabbed two branches, getting out my lighter, and setting them on fire. I dropped it onto the floor, if this plan didn't work, I'd probably go see Jaspers friend, Maria, she was used to killing people all the time. Wouldn't be anything new for her. I didn't like the way the Volturi kept making up excuses. I just wanted a quick death.

Ripping myself up and setting fire to myself would be easy. I smiled inwardly, whispering little nothings about Bella. I ripped off my legs first, dumping them into the fire, then hosting myself into it. "Bella I love you." I whispered as I tore off both arms at the same time, both dropping into the fire too.

**FIN.**

**Reviewwwwwwwwwww!**

_A/N yeah, I was going to have her live at first, but I'm in a bad mood. I'll probably be in a worse mood later on though, even though I want to write some more. So I probably wont be writing for a while, for the sake of my stories having a happy mood to it, it'd probably piss A LOT of people off._


	16. Chapter 16

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT :)**

… **all right, I understand I pissed a lot of people off with that ending.**

**That's why I'm re-doing it, and you guys all deserve much better than this.**

**I wanted Bella to live, but my personal life got the better of me, and I was beyond depressed and dealing with a lot of shit. If you didn't already know, my sister was battling with cancer and wasn't meant to live past Christmas, but things changed and I grew up and stopped acting like the pathetic child I was being. But all's mostly good now, my sisters getting better, my brother and I are happier, and my parents can finally breathe and have time to themselves outside of us and work.**

**I owe you guys all a deep sincere apology**

**and here it is :)**

**Edward's Point Of View**

I trailed my fingers over the veins in Bella's arm, humming a new tune quietly to myself. Carlisle has arranged for Renee to come down to make sure she got a chance to say bye. Charlie kept quiet. I kept quiet. Alice still yapped on about changing her.

I placed kisses along Bella's arm, watching the corner of her mouth curl up at the corners as she slept. "Beautiful girl." I whispered.

Maybe I should just be greedy and change Bella anyway. It was what was best. I could imagine my family falling apart at the seems with both Bella and I gone, just like they where when they thought we'd died when we went to Italy. I'd do it for my family's sake... and for both Bella's and I's happiness too.

The door swung open, Alice grinning as she jumped over and onto my lap, hugging me. "Your the best brother ever!"

I sighed, smiling a little. "Calm down, someone will think you've been sniffing something."

Alice rolled her eyes getting up and waltzing to the door. "Renee will be here soon."

I fake cheered rolling my eyes. "Funny how we've only meet on two occasions, both of them, Bella having been lying in a hospital bed."

She smirked. "Just goes to show Renee how much you love each other." I smiled a little, as Alice left again.

I frowned, placing a kiss on Bella's wrist. If I could turn back time... I thought to myself, once again.

Quarter of an hour later, Renee appaered, opening the door slowly, her thoughts all jumbled up, looking flustered and lost. I stood up from where I was sitting, offering Renee to sit down in the seat.

Bella smiled at her mother. "Hey mom."

Renee took me around my shoulders, giving me a little hug and offering me a smile. "Thank you for being here for her." She whispered in my ear, hugging me a little longer than normal, I wrapped my arms around her too, enjoying the comfort Bella's mother brought. We'd both finally let go, Renee taking a seat whilst I stood at Bella's bedside, her hand in mine. "Hey baby." Renee whispered to Bella, stroking her hair away from her face.

Bella smiled at her mother, and I ran my thumb along her boney knuckles.

I'd tried to give Bella and her mom some privacy, but Bella refused to let me leave her bedside. Renee left for an hour to go sort out some stuff with Charlie, they'd invited me to help them sort out some of the stuff, but Bella didn't want to be left alone. Truth be told, I didn't want to leave Bella's side empty, as long as there was someone there to look after her, I'd of been able to bear being away from her.

I paced across the front of her bed whilst Bella lazily watched me. Five minutes into it, she began to start talking, which in turn turned into a violent cough. "Oh God, Bella." I soothed, rubbing her back gently and leaning her forward. "Jeez Bella," I breathed out, collapsing to the floor, my head in my hands. "I can't do this any more, your going to _die_, and its all my fault, look what I've done, I've fucked you over, I've fucked your dad over, I've fucked your mom over. Talk about what a shitty boyfriend I've been. I should be sent to hell. If I die I hope I suffer for all of this."

"Edward... don't." She whispered, I looked up at her, leaning over her hospital bed looking at me, pathetically on the floor dry sobbing. I could see tears drop from her eyes and land on the floor, some on me even.

I reached up wiping them away. "Please don't cry." I whispered as I stood, kissing each of her cheeks.

"I don't want to die." She cried quietly.

"I'm not going to let you." I told her determined. I wasn't about to cut her life short. I was going to let my own greed take control of the situation at hand.

**Renee's Point Of View**

I'd gone with Charlie to retrieve some of Bella's stuff so we could pack it up for her, so she'd feel at home. Doctor Cullen had told us she'd be in hospital for months on end if she began to improve, if not, it'd be a matter of days till she'd be gone.

So now I was having a break down, I'd not even taken a step inside her room. Charlie and I were both just outside her door as he cradled me on his lap on the floor. And I could see the old Charlie I fell in love with all those years ago, and was, without a doubt, still in love with.

**Edward's Point Of View**

I closed my eyes as I stood at the foot of Bella's bed, my family all surrounding her, awaiting my important announcement.

"I'm changing Bella."

Alice squealed, attacking me with a hug whilst Emmett pumped his fist in the air, all of them celebrating, except one. Rosalie. We'd all turned to her and she'd just simply shrugged. "I guess I've been a little selfish too. I see it's the only way to keep my brother happy and our family together."

Emmett had simply grinned at her wrapping her up in a bear hug and leaving with Rosalie shortly after.

"We'll change you tonight Bella, give your parents a chance to say bye." Carlisle simply smiled, mentally coming up with what to say to Charlie and Renee, and left the room, wringing his hands.

Alice squealed. "I can't wait! This is going to be so much fun, after everything from the last few weeks, I can see we're all going to get back to normal!" She squealed again. "C'mon Jazz, we need to find something nice for Bella to wear whilst she's changing." She grabbed his wrist as she drug him out.

Jasper stood in the doorway with the little pixie grabbing onto his wrist. "Can't wait to finally spend some time with my sister." Jazz winked at Bella and left.

Esme wrapped Bella up in a delicate hug, and left without another word.

Bella spent a couple of hours with her parents together, Renee and Charlie both getting on more than the average divorced couple would. It interested me, but didn't want to waste valuable time getting into their business.

Carlisle came in that evening, Bella's insistence of me to be the one to bite her, I'd complied, leaning down to gently nuzzle her neck before hand, I intertwined our fingers together, grazed my teeth along it gently, and finally took the plunge into her flesh, biting her tasting her blood, and unable to stop, I heard the crunch of her fingers as I tightened my hold on her, and as Carlisle pulled me away. Me spitting Bella's blood out onto the floor.

I looked down at Bella's neck, and backed away to the wall, sinking down against it, head in my hands.

Days were spent with me meant to be "locked away in my room, unwilling to move myself from my bed" the reality was I was with Bella in Alaska as she made the change, whilst Bella's parents grieved. Carlisle had broken the news to them shortly after. And though Bella wasn't really dead, I had grieved too. For her parents. I knew how much they cared for Bella, how much they'd put into making her life more enjoyable, more fulfilling. Giving her a great quality of life. For a certain particular vampire to throw this girls amazing bright future down the drain.

Three days over and new eyes opened, a steady breathe was taken, a sniff and a body jolted upright out of curiosity.

A vampire was born tonight.

**FIN.**

**Reviewwwwwwwwwww!**

**Thank you all for staying loyal and reviewing and reading my other material, and good luck to everyone getting their GCSE & A-Level results next month! (or whatever you call them outside the UK :D )**

**Might do some one shots to tie all loose strings in this story up :)**

**and thank you guys again**

**sacha x**


	17. Chapter 17

Confesssion-

just over 2 years ago was when I uploaded 'my' first story, it was about the Cullens returning to forks after breaking dawn

since then i've deleted that story

why?

Because the story was crap, the plot was awful and my writing was just complete bull shit

only when 'I' had started writing other stories did people take interest in my work

truth is, they weren't my stories to publish

they never were meant to be published on a website like this

I had been emailing a friend, who didnt like twilight but liked the characters and setting, minus the vampires and werewolves

she began writing stories with different plots in emails, just to entertain me, and I abused whatever trust she had in me by posting them on here

a lot of stuff was going on in my life and I craved the attention

I will no longer be posting or updating anything on this site

im really sorry to every one this has effected

you can message me on here or email me if you'd like

sachay (at) hotmail (dot) co (dot) uk


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